"I Don't Care"
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Student Life

"I Don't Care"

But I'm exhausted from pretending not to care.

"I Don't Care"

"Whatever, that's fine," I shrugged nonchalantly, brushing off the pang I felt in my heart when he told me this just wasn't going to work out.

"It's all right, it wasn't that important," I replied to my friend's condolences after not getting a job I wanted so badly.

"I don't care," I lied, like every other time before when I might actually have had to admit I felt something other than casual indifference.

Social media bombards us constantly with the message that it's cool not to care. It's better to act hardened, unmoved by anything from what we should have for dinner, to how my day was, to having my heart broken. So I constantly find myself pretending to be stronger, smarter, prettier, more perfect, than I am. And of course I want to be the person who is tough or independent or just too cool, or any of the other characteristics society worships, and sometimes I am that person. A lot of the time, however, I'm not genuinely 'that person', but I'm not allowed to say that am I? Society tells me I need to be cold and indestructible and absolutely nothing else. So I am. I am uninterested and completely untouched by anything that could resemble an extreme emotion. So why is it that today's society refuses to admit that we're anything less than invincible?

I'm not the person society wants me to be. I am fragile, sentimental, curious, gentle, passionate and alive. And because I'm alive, I'm going to do what living people do and feel, whether agony or adoration or any other emotion. I want to dance when the sun is bright and warm on my face. I want to cry without shame when my heart is heavy. I want to scream from a rooftop when I'm so angry that I can't think. I want to hug everyone I meet and let them know they are loved. I want to feel life so fully I feel like I could burst.

I'm tired of living like I don't care. Because I do. I do care.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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