My First Roommate Wasn't My Best Friend, And Yours Might Not Be Either

My First Roommate Wasn't My Best Friend And It's OK If Yours Isn't Either

I've found new incredible roommates and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

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In just about every college experience you'll ever see, one common theme is finding your absolute best friend and my other half in a roommate. Going into my freshman year, I was hoping for this scenario to play out. How cool would that have been to meet a complete stranger that becomes your best friend that you get to live with for an entire year or more?

I met my first roommate on a Facebook roommate finder page. In her description, she seemed pretty cool and like someone, I could definitely see myself being friends with. We started talking and we both had mutual appreciations for Hamilton, reading, and writing. After talking for a while, we decided to room together and I was so excited because I thought I'd found this picture-perfect roommate I'd dreamed about.

Prior to move in, there were a few red flags that I guess I didn't really think too much about. We disagreed on a living situation but she ended up choosing to go with my ideal living situation: a six-person suite with three rooms of two, two bathrooms, a shower room, and a common area. The other four girls that we met seemed really cool too and we were all very excited to start planning for the upcoming school year. That was, everyone except my roommate. She wanted nothing to do with any of the other girls or planning, except for the occasional unwarranted quarrel in the group chat. Even in the first few weeks, she wouldn't come to any of the opening weekend events and we had to beg her to even communicate with us.

We both really tried to make things work, but in the end, there were so many values, lifestyle, hygiene, personality, and communication differences that it was definitely not meant to be. We ended up having to have her move out in the end.

I was super disappointed. I was watching the other four girls get along fairly well with their roommates and have a good time and I felt like I was missing out. I was actually really upset for a while. My suitemates were so good to me during those times and accepted me with open arms, but it still sucked knowing that they got to live with a cool person and stay up laughing and talking late into the night while I had to hope my roommate wouldn't bring a random Tinder guy in while I was sleeping again.

I was really hoping that I would find my best friend in a roommate and it seemed like everyone else I knew had done that. I kinda felt like I was missing out on the real college experience that everyone else got.

I got a new roommate shortly after the first and started feeling better pretty quick. By that point, I'd gotten pretty close to two of my suitemates, but my new roommate was super friendly and I liked her a lot. I didn't pick her, but ultimately I was very glad she moved in. She was so sweet and for the short time we lived together, I was happy to have someone that I got along with finally in my room.

It was a challenging freshman year in terms of my rooming situation, but I'm very happy to say that I'll be living with 2 of my suitemates and absolute best friends next year and I'm happier than ever.

I know everyone wants to have a good first roommate experience, and I'm so happy for those of you who get to! But, don't take it too hard if your roommate doesn't end up being who you thought they were going to be. Living with a stranger is so hard and you're bound to have complications along the way. You haven't failed if you get stuck with a roommate that you don't get along with. Just make the most of the situation you're stuck with and get back out there find the people you're meant to be with. I know I sure did and I'm so excited to start my sophomore year off right with them.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.

Aasayed
Aasayed
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Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!

Aasayed
Aasayed

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