Its black.
Pitch black, slowly waiting for my eyes to shut,
“Forever”
“Saved”
“Worthless”
Racing though my unordinary mind like the shadows of the night,
I began to see my past,
the sweet smell of the grass,
The freezing hands on my neck,
cold as ice,
The sound of screams and cries in the back,
My mind focused on one scream,
The scream of my 11 year old self shaking in fear,
My fingers began to tap on my cold legs as I felt myself unable to breathe, looking straight into the darkness,
I felt myself move on,
The bitter taste of sweat and fear drenched my mouth,
Thoughts of leaving my past raced on…
Things dripping startled me,
Dark, deep, red blood sprinkled on my leg,
My blood.
Struggling to find where it was dripping from,
I noticed it was from a cut,
That depression sliced right through my body,
As I got closer and closer to cease the bleeding of my wound,
I saw words.
The same words Ive tried to ignore my whole life,
“Your fault”
Instantly everything went black.
Everything went away.
Then I realized, it's the same thing that happens every night before I fall asleep,
The most evil, joyous terrifying thing in the world,
My mind.
That nobody cares to understand,
Because nobody pays attention to the hurting in your eyes, or the breaking of your heart,
“Don't talk about it”
“It's not important”
“Stop saying that”
Are the only things people care to say, when you threaten to take your own life,
Because “it's not important”
But we should make it important,
Because isn't the whole world made of separate individual souls?
That nobody cares to understand.
