I Don't Have Many Friends, And That's Exactly How I Like It

I Don't Have Many Friends, And That's Exactly How I Like It

It's not lonely when I'm choosing to be left alone.

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For anyone who has read my first article, My Unconventional College Career Taught Me It's OK To Do Things Differently, you already know that my college experience has been different from most people's. For anyone who hasn't read that article, to put it briefly, I left Towson after my first semester due to homesickness and not making any friends, and I returned a year and a half later after feeling I belonged here after all.

I was pretty upset about not making any friends my first semester. Everyone I knew who went away to college had a group of nine new best friends after two weeks; why hadn't that happened to me? Was I not being friendly enough? Was I weird and no one wanted to be friends with me? What was wrong with me?

After fifteen weeks of loneliness, I went back home. The thing is, I didn't make any friends at my community college, either, but that didn't bother me. Sure, I had my boyfriend and my family at home, but none of my high school friends were around to hang out with and I didn't make any attempts to make new friends at my community college.

Something I've learned about myself since that first lonely semester is that I don't care to have a lot of friends.

The loneliness I felt my freshman semester wasn't for a lack of friends, specifically; it was more the feeling of isolation. It was the feeling that even if I wanted to make friends, I couldn't (whether that's true or not I don't know, I probably could've tried harder). It was being away from everything I knew to be home that was causing my loneliness, not the fact that I didn't have any friends.

As a person, I'm pretty friendly, and I'm not exactly shy. Working in customer service for years will certainly beat the shyness out of you and force the friendliness into you. I can hold a conversation with strangers, and I'm comfortable with inviting classmates to study. What I'm saying is, I have pretty normal social skills and I'm generally good with people.

It's just that I don't like them.

Most people exhaust me. I always thought I was just lazy or not getting enough sleep, but the tiredness I feel after coming home from a day on campus isn't for a lack of sleep, it's the exhaustion of being around people all day. Of being in a crowd. Of hearing other people, seeing other people... Even if I do 0 socializing throughout the entire day, which is the way I prefer my days to go, being around people is tiring.

This doesn't apply to being around family, or the few friends I've cared to maintain relationships with. This applies to pretty much everyone else.

So, going back to the idea of not making any friends in college: this is exactly how I want things to be. The process of making new friends is even more stressful than just spending a day on campus. I have to retell all of my stories, explain all of the people in my life, re-explain my views and how I see things, and at this point, that investment doesn't seem worth it. In a few short years, we'll be going our separate ways. Trying to make friends is so draining to me, I usually just don't do it. I would rather keep to myself.

I cherish my alone time.

I love being able to go back to my apartment at the end of the day and sit in my room by myself. I like doing what I want to do every day, not worrying about meeting up with friends, texting 10 people back, or having any social obligations to honor. I just don't want to be bothered. I need that alone time every day to recharge after a long day of being exposed to too many people.

A lot of college graduates say the best things they get out of college are their friendships, but I am so content keeping to myself. I have a few good friends, most of which I met in high school when I had a little more energy for other people, and my wonderful roommate. The friends I do have are what I call "low maintenance," as in, we don't have to talk every day to know we're still friends. They know I love them and I'm always here for them, and I know they love me and they're always there for me, but we don't talk unless we have to. That doesn't mean we aren't friends, it means we're people with our own lives who talk when we need to talk.

I should add that despite my love for being alone, I'm not against making new friends. Every once in a while I'll meet someone who I actually want to put that effort into. My overall point is that I prefer to be alone, and the fact that I haven't made many friends since I started college doesn't bother me.

Still, I love my family and my friends. The people who I really enjoy are like breaths of fresh air, whereas being surrounded by thousands of other students on campus every day is like being lost in a fog.

I am perfectly fine with having few friends and spending most of my time in solitude.

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!
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After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvUCbnwzySKgbKiB_...



14. Some activities on my bucket list are...


This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...



What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Your Boat's Captain Deserves A 20% Tip, Just Like Your Server Or Barber

A tip about tipping people who serve you.

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I date a man whose talented, smart, and very good at what he does. He's a captain and runs his own business. He goes to college full time, five classes every semester, and runs his business on the weekends.

After being with him for almost a year I've gotten a good look at how much work he puts into his trips. He'll come home to me explaining all about his trip and I think my favorite part is watching the joy surface his eyes when he mentions his customers were happy. He values customer satisfaction and I wish his customers could see how much he values it, even after the trip is over. He'll walk through the door, smelling like a dead fish, and looking like he got ran over by a train. He'll get home and I'll push him to the shower after I hold my breath to kiss him.

Sometimes he helps his friend's business out and runs his charters for him for a couple of days. The other day I listened to him explain one of his trips to me and I couldn't help but feel anger. He took this group out and they caught a great amount of fish and he took extra time to filleted them for his customers. After he was finished, he collected the money for his friend and received a tip. This tip wasn't close to 20% of the total amount for the trip, instead, it was around 11%.

I am a waitress and I think we all know common courtesy of the 15%-20% tip at a restaurant. So when I heard this 11% tip was given to my boyfriend I felt hurt for him.

I wish that customer could see how much this man works and loves what he does. He cares about his customers and when his customers aren't happy, it follows him home. Being a captain isn't just a job to him, it's his everything. Making people happy, makes him happy. He deserved more than what that customer valued him as and he worked harder than the value of that tip.

This can pertain to tipping in general, but when you're tipping your captain, waitress, hairstylist, or even valet driver, realize that they live off of those tips. They served you, sweated for you, and created satisfaction for you. Tip people appropriate because serving someone isn't easy, it's exhausting but we do it because we want you to be happy when you walk away.

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