Dear Mom,
You have taught me everything I needed to know. You helped me learn to walk, talk, love, and much more. You have been there when no one else has, and I can depend on you whenever I need you. Even with all of that support, love, and guidance, there have been rough patches along the road. Bumps that have made our relationship rocky and, sometimes, have caused riffs that seem impossible to mend. We have been close and far away throughout our journey so far. Amongst all of the traversing we have done together, there have been thoughts/feelings that have not been vocalized. So, here it goes.
When it comes to the arguments we've had, I just wanted you to listen to me. Yes, children are supposed to listen to their parents. You are the adults, but there have been times where you didn’t know the whole story. I needed you to listen to me. I needed to be heard. When you didn’t listen to me, it hurt. I felt like my perspective didn’t matter, and as a kid, it was important to me. We may not know a lot, but we do have thoughts and parts to add to the story that are really important to us. There have been times where my insight into the subject wasn't as significant, but please know, I only talked back because I needed to heard. I didn't do it to fight with you.
Mothers and daughters are supposed to be close. You are the role model that I am supposed to look up. We are supposed to be able to tell each other everything. We have had the discussion before that I don’t tell you enough, that I don’t share as much with you. The thing is, that I sometimes am afraid to open up to you. You are such an incredible woman and I look up to you. Granted I haven’t done anything too bad, I still don’t want you to judge me. You are my mother and you love me no matter what. It's the fact that you are such a good person that I am afraid that I am not good enough for you. That’s why I haven’t been as open with you. It's not because I don't like you or don't care to share. It is because I admire you too much.
You work yourself too thin and don't put yourself first enough. I know that I have voiced this to you before, but I don’t think you realize how much I worry about you. You, and dad, have worked incredibly hard to give us the best life you possibly can and I know that you are doing what you love. But, as you have said before, work makes you exhausted. You work your hardest. You are a shining of example of a dedicated worker. I just want you to know that you deserve time for you. You deserve the time to be happy, relax, and enjoy your family as much as anyone else. You need to make yourself happy. If you don't, you can't help and make others as happy. Please keep that in mind.
You are more amazing than you think you are. We all have our fair share of insecurities. Each person has people in their life who, no matter how hard you to try to keep them out, put them down and hurt them. It is something you cannot get away from, and after a while, it can tarnish our self-esteem. All of that aside, I want you to know that despite what those people say, you are truly incredible. You may not see it, but I do. I see how thoughtful you are. I watch you give 100%, and more still, in everything you do. I see how beautiful you are. Even when you don't see it in yourself, know that other people do. If all of us see it, it's true. Do not forget that you are an amazing gift and you should treat (and see) yourself as such.
I appreciate you more than I could ever say. No words could ever express to you how much I appreciate and love you. You are truly a blessing and I could not have asked for a better role model. We all have our own flaws and they sometimes get in the way, but you do so well at working past and through them. You have taught me how to be a good person. You have taught me a strong work ethic and to always help others. Your faith, love, and generosity inspire me every day. Despite the struggles we have had together and with each other, I would not trade you for anything in the world. Yes, to say that is cliché, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for it all.
I love you forever and always,
Your daughter
