As a college student without a boyfriend, I usually get a lot of questions and dramatic reactions. People either think you hate men or are a prude for not having intimate experiences. I think it's unfortunate that there's always been a negative stigma attached to single college girls. Sometimes it seems like everyone around you is in a relationship, and if you're like me, sometimes you feel insecure about it. Thanksgivings are filled with completely innocent questions of "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Most of the time, the questions are just out of curiosity. I consider myself a patient person, so I answer people's questions honestly.
Yeah, I guess you could say I'm picky with guys, but there's a reason. I've set my standards higher because I know in my heart that God has someone special planned for me. I don't want my first kiss to be with someone I don't know that well. I don't want my first boyfriend to be a jerk. I don't want my heart to be played around with. Love shouldn't ever be a game. In this "hookup culture," it's unfortunate that dating has now changed to where sexual intimacy comes before even getting to know the person and falling in love. It's no longer "falling in love" -- it's infatuation and lust.
I'm honestly focusing on myself and establishing a closer relationship with God. I'm working on being confident in myself. I'm working on the perfectionism that seems to take over my life at times where I feel good grades are the most important. I'm working on my struggles with anxiety and remembering that God is in control. God is in control, and He will always be. God's timing is perfect, and He reassures me that His plans for me are good.
God's plans for me are perfect and good, and if that means waiting, I'm happy waiting if it means that the right person is waiting for me like I am for him. I get impatient at times like any normal person, but I know that it will all be worth the wait. Being single for my whole life has been a very good thing for me. It's taught me to be independent and make my own decisions. My mother, who is such an amazing godly influence in my life, taught me to never rely on another man. She still teaches me that God has a plan for me. Even though I don't know His plans for me, God assures me that my future will be bright, with or without a boyfriend or husband. I'm simply choosing to be patient and allow Christ to work in me to prepare myself for a God-honoring relationship. The most important relationships you will ever have are with God and with yourself.
I may sound old-fashioned, but I am firm in what I believe in as a Christian. I'm choosing to save my first kiss for someone I truly love. If that means saving it until my wedding day, so be it! I'm choosing to save myself for marriage. Others might tell me to lower my expectations, but I know that when the time is right, God will make it happen.
Feminism Redefined
