News flash: knock knock jokes are a thing of the past. Simple. If you haven't discovered it before, I'm here to tell you about the feature of Netflix: stand up specials. You never have to watch an old episode of "The Office" or "Parks and Rec" and hope the joke is still funny a second time. Now you can just watch someone tell you jokes for an hour in the comfort of your own home. You might be thinking, what credentials do you have to rank these comedians?
It's summer, and I have a lot of spare time on my hands and a sense of humor. Also because this is America, and thus everything is a competition, I've definitively ranked the comedians, so you don't have to waste the first awkward five minutes trying to figure out if this person is funny or not. You're welcome.
1. Ali Wong
*insert supportive clapping emojis* Ali Wong has done both of her stand up specials while she was VERY pregnant. For some reason, this makes her act 100% more funny. She also makes jokes about things she cares about, such as equal pay and maternity leave, which makes her jokes so much more impactful. No one wants to hear a comedian make jokes about something they aren't passionate about. So good for you, Ali! You married that Harvard Business School man and said "I do" and "I'm done," and we all respect it. #1 place!
2. John Mulaney
John Mulaney is GREAT. Probably the only reason he isn't #1 in this ranking is because he has turned a little too mainstream. If you don't love me at my "New in Town" you don't deserve me at my "Kid Gorgeous." Just sayin'. If you haven't seen his three Netflix specials, it's definitely worth the hype.
3. Iliza Shlesinger
SHE GETS ME, and if you're a female college student, she gets you too. We all have a party goblin and don't even try to deny it. Also, she is from my hometown so I gotta show my support. Texas forever.
4. Mike Birbiglia
This guy isn't your normal stand up comedian. He claims if you met him IRL you wouldn't even think he is funny. Instead, he is just observing, thinking of jokes and funny comebacks months later. I can relate to this very much. In person, I'm as boring as a sandwich, but give me a while to write a clever response, and I bet I could get a giggle out of you.
5. Anjelah Johnson
UGH, I WANT TO BE HER. She makes me smile and is also a very PG comedian, so get the whole family together and be prepared to laugh, but "don't be fooled by the rocks that I got."
6. Amy Schumer
GiphyAmy Schumer is such a mood. She is totally honest about what it's like to live with societal expectations and beauty standards and just how hard it is to be a woman sometimes. She is an inspiration to us all, and I will forever be a fan.
7. Donald Glover
Although he has made quite the acting career for himself, Donald Glover's stand up is what he is originally known for. 10/10 would recommend for a friend/stranger/acquaintance.
8. Michael Che
Michael Che does more than a weekend update. In fact, he has a special on Netflix called "Michael Che Matters," where he talks about his own personal experience with 21st-century racism, and it is both interesting and incredibly funny. Most "Saturday Night Live" cast members started in stand up comedy, so if you wanna know what these people do on the other six nights of the week, check out Michael Che and others on the good ole' internet.
9. Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry is an OG comedian. He has two stand up specials currently on Netflix and the series "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee," where he chats with a lot of the comedians on this list (subtle plug). Seinfeld is a true trailblazer that has inspired countless comedians to follow. He has some solid jokes and is definitely worth your time.
10. Aziz Ansari
I mainly included Aziz because I'm a huge "Parks and Rec" fan, and I truly admire how almost every cast member went onto bigger and better things (aka Chris Pratt). Aziz is no exception. He has played at some pretty baller venues, and I'm positive that Tom would be proud. Treat yo self on his specials if ya want a giggle.
11. Katherine Ryan
Katherine Ryan is one of the lesser known comedians on this list. She has one stand up special, and it's GREAT. We could all use a little bit more of her bluntness in our lives.
12. Gad Elmaleh
GiphyPeople in France are MAD FOR GAD. He is hella famous in France, but a few years ago he decided to move to the US, learn English, and try to break into American stand up. I really admire this because he wanted to improve as a comedian and to do that he felt he needed to start over. He has one stand up in his English act and one in French (with subtitles). After watching his act and hearing his story, I, too, am a fan.
Although I have not seen every single comedian who has ever blessed Netflix with a special, I still feel qualified to make this ranking. If you disagree, tell me why, but let's keep the discussion civil and, above all, funny.
