10 Movies That Must Be Remade

10 Movies That Must Be Remade

I'm not asking you, Hollywood, I'm telling you
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It might not be obvious, but films are my life. I'm not being overdramatic, either. I don't know my address or my birthday or even who the current president is off the top of my head but I can recite some of the greatest monologues of film history at the drop of a hat.

As an ardent and lifelong fan of cinema (only plebeians call them "movies"), nothing pains me more than seeing a movie (crap) film with a timeless message told beautifully treated like some obsolete relic. While there are some movies ("Citizen Kane," "Sunset Boulevard," "Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel") which should not be interfered with under any circumstances -- do you hear me, Hollywood? -- these slightly less-iconic, high-quality films have been unfairly and callously relegated to obscurity by the masses. They are in desperate need of a remake to reignite public interest and to express the unique stories from the perspectives only they possess.


10. Gloria (1980)

To protect him from an eminent mob-hit, Phil's mother sends him down the hall to their chain-smoking, individualistic neighbor, Gloria Swenson. Despite being reluctant to have to play caretaker to a child, they eventually become an ad hoc family of sorts. It's a tearjerker full of gunfights starring a middle-aged woman; an apparent anomaly but an inspiring one that details the need for people to form a family, however and whenever they can.

While Gena Rowlands' performance was just short of a masterpiece, Jessica Lange could make this role her own.

(There was a remake in 1999 starring Sharon Stone but I refuse to acknowledge it.)


9. Network (1976)

A brilliant piece of satire which mocks the cruelty and banality of television, "Network" blasts away TV's charming veneer and exposes it for the heartless, indifferent beast it is. Screenwriter Paddy Chayevsky also drew heavily on the politics of the day, with roman a clef versions of the Symbionese Liberation Army and Patty Hearst playing integral roles in the film.

If you have not seen the original, watch it, but television and society have changed so, so drastically over the last forty years that a relevant, updated version of "Network" is not only desirable, but drastically necessary.


8. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963)


I had never considered "bloated" to have positive connotations until I watched "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" for the first time. Running a staggering three and a half hours and packed to the breaking point with major star power, "Mad World" was, in essence, heavily-diluted and remade in 2001 as "Rat Race." You know the story; strangers rushing to get to a big stash of cash, everything that can go wrong does, celebrity cameos out the ying-yang, a lot of yelling, God I love it.

"Rat Race" can't hold a candle to "Mad World," even in its old age. If this film is going to be remade, it should be a direct and obvious remake. While I'm not asking for a nearly four hour celebrity extravaganza, this epic comedy deserves an epic overhaul. It's a guaranteed moneymaker and it will restore, even to a mild degree, interest in a largely ignored classic.


7. A Place In the Sun (1951)


I want this movie to be remade and modernized so very badly but I honestly believe that there is no possible way any young actor or actresses could convey this story with the vitality and emotion that Liz Taylor, Monty Clift, and Shelley Winters did in 1951.

Based on Theodore Dreiser's 1925 novel "An American Tragedy," "Place" is essentially an attack on the side of capitalism not commonly discussed; the brutality of social climbing, the "anything-it-takes" attitude which corrupts individuals, it's all laid bare on the screen. Beautifully, too. The only movie to have accomplished something similar recently is "The Big Short," but while that was more of a documented account of real events, this is an emotional tour-de-force, a reflection on what the rat race does to the human spirit.


6. Ghostbusters (1984)


"Ghostbusters" is one of those films th - nevermind, too late.


5. The Night of the Hunter (1955)


Against my better judgement, I would like to see "Night of the Hunter" remade. It is, in my humble opinion, the silver screen's greatest story of good versus evil. There will simply never be another like it. Robert Mitchum's performance is bone-chilling, a (thankfully) fictional amalgam of evil characteristics. While I'm convinced that no remake could ever recreate the minimalistic majesty of the original, it's worth a shot to present, again, what might be the greatest story of good and evil ever told.


4. Greed (1925)


How was there a time when people actually looked like this?

You know the story. A gifted genius of a director makes a movie, it bombs at the box office, forty years later everyone agrees that it's an earth-shattering classic.

Erich von Stroheim was one of those geniuses of early Hollywood that you always hear about but are never interested enough to find out about, and "Greed" is considered to be not only his magnum opus, but one of the greatest films of all time. Cut from two and a half hours from its original eight, the movies was described by one critic as "the filthiest, vilest, most putrid picture in the history of the motion picture business." It tells the story of a dentist who becomes obsessed with his wife's lottery winnings after she refuses to spend the money and the ultimate corrupting power of greed. The whole film is, very obviously, one long, long, exceptionally long metaphor, with the actors involved portraying absolutes more so than intimate, fully-realized characters, and yet it is shocking, even today, for its brutal honesty and the overall intricacy.

The true epics of the early days of Hollywood are akin to the Old Masters of the art world; grandiose, evocative, uninteresting after a period of time. This film should be taught in schools, but I'll settle for a (shortened) remake in theaters.


3. The Little Foxes (1941)


Pictured above: Regina Giddens ignored her husband's impending death

There are scant few more perfectly-shot scenes in all of Hollywood history than Bette Davis' Regina Hubbard Giddens ignoring her dying husband as he tries to crawl up the stairs in a vain attempt to get his heart medicine, knowing that if he dies, she will gain control of her brothers' soon-to-be-constructed cotton mill.

Davis' expertise as an actress not only earned her an Oscar nomination, but made her turn as Regina one of the American Film Institutes 50 greatest (worst?) villains. While it would be nice to say that Davis is the only worthy actress for the part, Tallulah Bankhead and Liz Taylor each made her their own on the stage.

I'm so effusive about this particular character because the film centers around her and, at the same time, does not. Even when she is absent from the screen, the intimidation she imposes on her family in the turn-of-the-century South is palpable, lending every scene a sense of suspense rare outside of horror movies. The film itself is a probing, artistic look into greed, how it affects us and those around us and so on and so forth.


2. The Thin Man (1934)

Pop culture has been inundated with great detectives for over a century now, but, in the eyes of the all-knowing Hollywood executives, Sherlock Holmes is the only antiquated showhorse worth trotting out before audiences. The "Thin Man" series (six movies in total) focuses on a pair of legendary and, in my increasingly-humble opinion, superior detectives: the married couple Nick and Nora Charles.

Nick and Nora expertly solve crimes, but do it with a panache totally foreign to Holmes. They enjoy martinis, elegant affairs, nice clothes, and exposing murderers, and, most importantly, it has the potential for sequels. Not only is the series exemplary from a critical standpoint, but in terms of profitability it is a surefire hit. One can only wonder why Nick and Nora have been absent from theaters for going on seven decades (other than the fact that they characters are so closely tied to William Powell and Myrna Loy).


1. Auntie Mame (1958)


The film's message is succinctly expressed by Mame Dennis Burnside when she bellows "Live! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" It is true, it is concise, it is clever; it is Mame.

The story follows the wealthy, orphaned Patrick Dennis as he is shipped off to Manhattan to live with his wealthier, eccentric aunt who associates with less-than-conventional characters, throws outrageous parties, and lives as if each day were her last. She teaches the young Patrick to eschew snobbery and imparts an invaluable wisdom onto both him and the audience.

The movie is witty, entertaining, endearing, and, for all of its artifice and gilded edges, expresses a purity rarely seen in film. By the standards of today's moviegoers, however, it is dated, and, because it's possesses a message which should be spread far and wide, it is imperative that this movie be remade (though no one could ever come close to Rosalind Russell's superb characterization).


In an ideal world, people would deliberately seek out classic films and watch them in an attempt to glean the wisdom they have to offer. Pragmatism dictates that that will never happen, and so in order to capture the artistry of these stories, the beyond-genius works of Lillian Hellman and Paddy Chayevsky and John Cassavetes which made these films possible in the first place, remakes are necessary to reignite interest, solidify their legacy, and gift artistic genius to otherwise disinterested youths.

And to you overzealous film purists: everyone and everything could stand a little nip/tuck once in awhile.

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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From One Nerd To Another

My contemplation of the complexities between different forms of art.

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Aside from reading Guy Harrison's guide to eliminating scientific ignorance called, "At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life" and, "The Breakthrough: Immunotherapy and the Race to Cure Cancer" by Charles Graeber, an informative and emotional historical account explaining the potential use of our own immune systems to cure cancer, I read articles and worked on my own writing in order to keep learning while enjoying my winter break back in December. I also took a trip to the Guggenheim Museum.


I wish I was artistic. Generally, I walk through museums in awe of what artists can do. The colors and dainty details simultaneously inspire me and remind me of what little talent I posses holding a paintbrush. Walking through the Guggenheim was no exception. Most of the pieces are done by Hilma af Klint, a 20th-century Swedish artist expressing her beliefs and curiosity about the universe through her abstract painting. I was mostly at the exhibit to appease my mom (a K - 8th-grade art teacher), but as we continued to look at each piece and read their descriptions, I slowly began to appreciate them and their underlying meanings.


I like writing that integrates symbols, double meanings, and metaphors into its message because I think that the best works of art are the ones that have to be sought after. If the writer simply tells you exactly what they were thinking and how their words should be interpreted, there's no room for imagination. An unpopular opinion in high school was that reading "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne was fun. Well, I thought it was. At the beginning of the book, there's a scene where Hawthorne describes a wild rosebush that sits just outside of the community prison. As you read, you are free to decide whether it's an image of morality, the last taste of freedom and natural beauty for criminals walking toward their doom, or a symbol of the relationship between the Puritans with their prison-like expectations and Hester, the main character, who blossoms into herself throughout the novel. Whichever one you think it is doesn't matter, the point is that the rosebush can symbolize whatever you want it to. It's the same with paintings - they can be interpreted however you want them to be.


As we walked through the building, its spiral design leading us further and further upwards, we were able to catch glimpses of af Klint's life through the strokes of her brush. My favorite of her collections was one titled, "Evolution." As a science nerd myself, the idea that the story of our existence was being incorporated into art intrigued me. One piece represented the eras of geological time through her use of spirals and snails colored abstractly. She clued you into the story she was telling by using different colors and tones to represent different periods. It felt like reading "The Scarlet Letter" and my biology textbook at the same time. Maybe that sounds like the worst thing ever, but to me it was heaven. Art isn't just art and science isn't just science. Aspects of different studies coexist and join together to form something amazing that will speak to even the most untalented patron walking through the museum halls.

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