"Your skirt is too short."
"That's too much cleavage"
"You're showing too much skin."
"Cover-up."
Growing up these were all things I've either been told myself or overheard being told to other girls around me. A simple tank top at school was an immediate write-up, and for what reason? For the sole reason that it would "distract others" or was "too inappropriate". But it was just a tank top and shoulders.
The idea that young girls had to cover their skin to protect themselves from unwanted stares from men has been so normalized, and it starts most directly in the school system. I'm expected to cover my stomach, my shoulders, my thighs because a man is so distracted by a simple body part?
How many of us can say we learned about sexual assault, harassment, consent and dating violence while we were in high school? They're topics that are equally as important as learning Math and English, yet they're rarely even brought up. Instead of shaming a student for what they wear, shouldn't we be teaching that an outfit isn't an excuse to give unwanted attention?
Once I graduated high school I found that I was still wary of what I wore. Walking on the sidewalk and feeling a stare on my back my immediate thought has been, "am I showing too much skin?".
As women, we've all felt it, the discomfort and the fear.
And how many times will we have to hear the argument, "she was asking for it," when it comes to rape. She was wearing a short skirt or her shirt was low, so she wanted it, right? No. Well, she was wearing leggings and a baggy shirt, she was still asking for it. No, not at all, and this should be common sense. Yet, for some reason, I still need to look at myself in the mirror before going out and wonder if I'll be "safe" in this outfit.
A problem we face far too often: sexual assault. Running everyday errands, going for a jog, even going to the grocery store is a risk. We're told to always carry pepper spray, to check under our cars before opening the door, to ignore any distracting objects placed on our windows or doors until we get home, to check our surroundings while walking in the dark. The list is lengthy.
We see the faces of women who became victims of assault when we scroll through social media or watch the news and think how could it happen? What if it happened to someone I know? What if it happened to me?
I can't say how many times I've been told I was being too dramatic or paranoid for speaking about my fears as a woman and how often these fears are brushed aside.
But my fears are valid. Hear the stories, the crimes, the deaths, the facts, the trauma; am I still being dramatic?
