I had the privilege of growing up in a Christian home, which is something I am very thankful for. There really has never been a time when I didn't know about Jesus or who he was. However, that doesn't mean I have always been a Christian. When I was about five years old, I recognized my need for Jesus. I didn't want to spend eternity in hell, so I prayed a prayer that night with my Awana teacher.
As I grew older, I continued to go to church and learn about the Bible. However, I began to doubt that prayer my 5-year-old self-had made. Did I really mean that? Or did I just do it because I thought that was what I was supposed to do? I continued to struggle with those thoughts. I was afraid to tell anyone because I was a church kid. In my mind, church kids weren't supposed to struggle with something as basic as salvation.
I continued to let my pride override my doubts until one day I decided it wasn't worth it anymore. I was once again in Awana as a 6th grader, and my teacher had just finished the lesson and said, "If anyone here is struggling with knowing for sure they are saved, please come talk to one of us. Eternity is way too long to risk not being 100% sure."
It was at that statement when the conviction and reality hit. If I was just going through the motions seven years ago, then I was not a Christian. I would not get to spend eternity with my Creator. I knew about the Gospel. In fact, I had even shared it with others, and my brother had even accepted Christ when he was asking me questions. However, I knew knowledge and even sharing it wasn't going to be enough.
It was that night when I knew that I was a child of God. I recognized that Jesus paid for my sins, so I wouldn't have to spend eternity doing so. Church attendance and good works weren't good enough. The Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9 that only accepting Jesus' sacrifice on the cross as your sin payment is how you become a Christian and begin a personal relationship with Jesus. Works aren't enough.
It was during a week at ACT Camp in Clendenin, WV that God revealed Himself to me through the powerful preaching and community that I found at camp. I learned that truly living for Jesus was difficult, but He was worthy of the cost. After that week, I didn't want to miss out on anything that God had for me. I desperately wanted God to be glorified in my life.
As I went through school, I continued to live my life. I was involved in my church and enjoyed various activities at school such as band and archery. Throughout my middle and high school years came a lot of blessings, but also a lot of sanctification. I visited the funeral home more times than what I would have liked, experienced broken friendships, and even bitterness started to take root in my heart towards those that had hurt me.
It was the summer before I went to college for the first time that I decided I wanted to make my faith my own and have the Bible be the foundation of my life. I remembered back to that week at ACT Camp and craved that same fire and passion I had. I was going into a stage of life I knew nothing about, so I had no choice but to trust God.
After getting to college, the rubber hit the road. I got involved in a Bible study on campus and was immersed in this wonderful community and church. I have grown to love God's Word so much more than before. I've still got a lot to learn and grow in, but it's been an incredible journey thus far. It's been far from easy, but so worth it.
