You see, my mom and dad decided when I was 5 years old to go their own separate ways. Meaning, my mom would take me to a different city 45 minutes from my hometown and I would only see my father every other weekend. A new school, new city, new friends. That lead into endless court dates, custody battles, and fights. Eventually, at 13 I was finally allowed to speak for myself. The judge granted my Dad custody and I went to high school exactly where I had wanted. Did the entire journey suck? Of course. There was a time when my parents couldn't stand each other. One thing never changed though, their love for me.
Something happens to your view of marriage when you become a child of divorce, yes. But, I learned something very useful and important from my parents. Marriage isn't a gift or a privilege. It's work. Hard work. I learned that I had to make 100% sure that the man I decide to marry is the one I want to work for. Without the motivation to work for your marriage there's a lost hope in the beginning.
Watching my Dad fight as hard as he could to bring me back home showed me something I couldn't have possibly ever seen before. He's mentally invincible. He is still, to this day, the toughest and strongest man in this world in my eyes. I watched him lose his wife, his daughter, and 2 stepson's and keep it all together. I knew when I was younger, when I would look into his tired eyes, how much he loved me. He showed me exactly how a man should look at me someday. Exactly how to know when I have found the one for me. That lesson is one I could never thank him enough for.
I watched my mom fall in love with a man she really did love. A man that really loved her and knew how to handle her sassiness. It was hard to see her without my Dad at her side. But, the look on her face when my stepdad walks into the room is worth everything. I saw my mom happy again.
I watched a lady with three children of her own walk into my Dad's life and bring back the light it had been missing for so long. I was never the child that pranked my Dad's girlfriend. She soon became much more than some "girlfriend". She moved in with two of her kids. That was hard to adjust to. But, knowing that she is there to love my dad and take care of him while I can not is the best feeling in this world to me.
So, I can't accept the thinking that I am now broken because my parents marriage is. I learned valuable lessons and watched my parents fall in love with their true soul mates. I have a bond with my father now, that most girls will never understand. He isn't just my Dad, he's my person.
I keep hearing people talk about how being a child of divorce is the worst possible thing to ever happen. I just can't see it that way. Honestly, it may be the best thing to ever happen to me. Have I always felt this way? Not a shot. But, now, having loved someone myself, I know that I would never hold my parent's unhappiness accountable for my emotional state or unhappiness.
Next time you meet a child of divorce think of them as strong and well rounded. Because I know for a fact I am not broken.
