Let me first say, I am tired. I am so tired all of the time. It’s hard to explain what it’s like to death with something like Hypothyroidism to someone who doesn’t have it and will probably never understand it. For those of you who have no idea what Hypothyroidism is, Hypothyroidism is a condition that influences your body’s ability to release hormones- in this case, you don’t produce enough. Your thyroid hormones play a vital role in basically every aspect of your body, but most importantly your metabolism, brain, heart, and liver function, and reproductive health and fertility. A lot of people have no idea what a thyroid is or even does; I was one of those people until I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism after a very serious and scary battle with depression. Thyroid disease is a lot more common than one may think, 20 million Americans suffer with some sort of thyroid disease. I think one of the most difficult parts of dealing with Hypothyroidism is the fact that a lot of my friends, family, and loved ones have no idea how much this disease impacts my everyday life. There are a few things I want my family and friends to understand about what I deal with when talking about Hypothyroidism/Hashimoto’s.
- I am so tired. This exhaustion is not the type that can be solved with a cup of coffee or a good night’s sleep. When I mention how tired I am, a lot of people say “oh yeah, me too” and just kind of brush me off, not knowing that the feeling of utter exhaustion doesn’t go away.
- This brain fog is no joke. A term commonly used when talking about Hypothyroidism is “brain fog.” I have a difficult time concentrating on things like school, work, and sometimes even day-to-day conversations. I don’t deal with that every day, but there are some days where I just absolutely cannot focus on anyone or anything. It’s nothing personal to anyone in my life; I’m just dealing with the fog.
- I can’t lose weight. Trust me, I’m trying. Another wonderful (insert eye roll) characteristic of Hypothyroidism is the fact that it has slowed my metabolism almost to a halt. I really enjoy the fact that people are like “well, why don’t you just eat less” or “why don’t you just work out?” HONEY, I’m trying everything I could ever possibly think of to lose weight and my thyroid just refuses to let it happen.
- I mentioned earlier that I had a really difficult time when it comes to depression, which can be partially blamed on Hypothyroidism. I went through a really bad breakup and lost my childhood dog all in the span of two months. I’ve dealt with depression all of my life, seemingly for no reason. I was teased a lot as a child, so I just figured that my depression stemmed from that. After the loss of my dog and the end of my relationship, I was on the edge and ready to jump, meaning I was ready to end my life. At that point, I went to see my family doctor because I needed help and I could not help myself. I found out about my thyroid and she looked at me, told me to take a deep breath, and that we were going to fix my pain. I found out that extreme depression and even suicide were side effects of having Hypothyroidism.
- I look fine, but I am further from being fine. I look normal on the outside, but on the inside I’m struggling through a mirage of symptoms of a disease that no one else can see. There are symptoms you can see, like the weight gain, the hair loss, but you can’t see the anxiety and panic. They can’t see how absolutely overwhelmed you are just trying to live your everyday life.
- Hi, my name’s Moody. I am absolutely the moodiest person you will ever meet on this planet. Being moody and dealing with mood swings is really hard, especially on relationships. The moodiness and anxiety I deal has killed any romantic relationship I’ve been in.
For those who have normal thyroids, be thankful. You’ll never truly understand how much your thyroid does for your body until yours doesn’t do it anymore. For those of you dealing with the same struggle as me, I love you, I’m sorry and you are so strong.
