"What can I possibly say?" That's what I've been asking myself for weeks. All the words that I can compile will never adequately describe the extraordinary, awe-inspiring, beautiful person that my tia Sandra was.

She was number 5 out of 7 siblings and for sure the favorite (right, grandma and grandpa?) She was the ever so proud wife of tio Abelino. And she felt lucky to be the mother of three amazing boys: Elusai, Elian and Eniel. She was their queen and they, the apple of her eye.

This goes without saying but her role in our family cannot be compared. I admired her capacity to be involved with literally everyone and everything. She was at every birthday party, graduation, recital, wedding, gender reveal, etc (y'all know Mexicans celebrate everything) oh and my personal favorite..at every sports game. She'd go to my games at Garcia and Rivera and always waited to congratulate me afterward. Even when we'd lose, she'd still say, "You're the best, mija." Her support always made me feel like I had won. Like I could do anything.

Her presence brought light anywhere she went. Her words were meaningful because of the kind of person she was. Honest, thoughtful, efficient, reliable, selfless and always found humor in every situation. I believe her joy and love for life attracted many which explains her 492834 friends!

She was always thinking of others and how to help them. You have a wedding to go to? Come over and borrow a dress. You're having a baby shower? Let me help you plan it. Need help with a ticket? I know a guy. She gave and gave and gave without limit. Not only with her time and energy but with her heart. All of the tribute posts I've read about her tell me that she truly cared about every person that crossed her path. She touched people in a deep way, in a way that doesn't leave you the same, in a way that has long-lasting impact.

My tia's cancer diagnosis converted a strong person into an unshakable woman of God. 4 years ago, she began to pursue Him more fervently. She believed His promises and vowed to live for His glory. Her testimony drew many of our family members to seek God in the same way. In 2017, she victoriously rang the bell and proclaimed God's power and faithfulness! She was healed and even more burning for the Lord.

In the years that followed, the relationship between my tia and I advanced from simply familial to divine and eternal. We were both on a spiritual journey, you could say. My sophomore year in college, she bought me a bible and encouraged me to read it everyday. A year later, I told my family that I had decided to attend a two-year bible school following graduation. My tia cried tears of joy haha. She was emotional like that but I'm sure she had been praying for me. It wasn't an easy decision for me to make at the time. Many others questioned, judged, and passively supported me. But my tia.. I will never forget the words she shared with me.

I treasure these last two years as a gift from the Lord because my tia and I shared many precious moments that I will always keep my heart. When God is the center of your relationship with someone, His life bonds you like nothing else. We would talk about her journey with the Lord and pray together. I would share my enjoyment from bible school and she'd say, "I'm sooo proud of you. His word is our only path." Both of us had a deep longing to bring Christ to our family members. That brought us closer.

In the last few months of my tia's life, she maintained her joy. Never did she question God's will. Never did she say "Why?" or "This isn't fair." Til her last breath, she proclaimed God's faithfulness and love. Two days before she passed, I sent her an extensive voice message and her response was, "It's not over mija, the devil chose the wrong person." No doubt, the Lord was with her until her last breath. What kind of person has that kind of peace? What a shame to the enemy and what a glory to God! That in the midst of an unspeakable suffering, a person could express such hope.

May the Lord comfort us and fill us with the peace that my tia experienced. May everyone who knew her be inspired by her testimony and her life. May God have an opportunity to touch the lives of so many through her beautiful story.

Tia,

Throughout my life, people have told me that I look and talk and move like you. I consider it the utmost compliment hehe. I remember when you told me, "If I would have had a daughter, she would be like you." I saw a lot of myself in you, tia. Now that you're gone, I find parts of me that remind me of you. And in that way, you'll never be gone. I see you in the way Catalina arranges her crayons by color code. Even her curls remind me of you because apparently they're all yours. I see you in Elian's strength to comfort his dad and brothers. I hear you in Elusai's voice and Eniel's laugh. And I will always see you when I look into my tio's eyes.

How I wish you could have watched me graduate from bible school. I know you would've organized the trip to California and not settled for anything less than the front row. I thank the Lord with all my heart because He filled your life with purpose. He revealed Himself to you and carried you in His arms until the very end.

Tia, the place you filled in our hearts is bigger than the emptiness we may feel today. The impact you made in my life is beyond words. You know how much I admired you. I'm sure that in every stage of my life, I will be reminded of the things you taught me.

At first, the origin of my tears was sorrow and loss. Little by little, along with my tears come smiles and prayers of gratitude. Grateful for the memories and time we had with you. Grateful for all that God was able to do through you. Grateful for the experiences of the Lord that you left as an example for us.

You're my hero. I love you forever.