This photo is from one of the many hospital stays my dad has had in the last 7 months. It is one of my favorites and I am going to share with you why. He is holding up one of his favorite things, something he never turns down: ice cream.
It may sound silly to write about ice cream, heck, even to share a photo of him holding it. But there is a story behind this ice cream bar and a lesson I learned that day.
My dad unfortunately is battling Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma of the CNS. Meaning he has brain cancer that was also in his spine via CSF (cerebrospinal fluid). Although, every visit and every day we were together- we all shared: ice cream.
Typically, my dad would be admitted downtown for his stays. However, this time it was a more local hospital who apparently had different “rules” in regard to their cafeteria purchases.
Whilst in the cafeteria with my mother, I stated “What kind of ice cream would dad want? They have cookies & cream and chocolate.” Well, apparently visitors were not entitled to purchase food items in the cafeteria for patients. I was informed of this and was not allowed to buy it for my dad- the one battling cancer and sitting in a hospital bed. The manner in which I was approached about it met me with humiliation, embarrassment and sadness. All I could do was cry. I couldn't control anything in regard to my Dad's diagnosis, but I could control getting him ice cream.
After returning with no ice cream, I was absolutely crushed- thinking of how happy this would have made my Dad. The smile on his face is all I wanted to see. The nurses even asked for us and were still turned down.
Shortly thereafter, another nurse walked into our room. She came in, hands behind her back, and said “I heard someone wanted ice cream.” My tears stopped flowing and the instant smile on my Dad’s face melted my heart- it made us so happy.
An ice cream bar: something full of sugar that you eat. However, what it meant was so much more. My dad has gone through so much in less than a year. The ice cream sounds so silly- but it made me really start to think about many other experiences and situations in life.
You truly never do know what someone else is going through. It sounds cliché, but I was really on my last straw that day, and the ability of not being able to make my dad smile over a bar of ice cream was a lot heavier than it sounds. It crushed me. We were already dealing with so many other things.
So, the next time you find yourself frustrated or not understanding why someone may seem so upset over something that may be incredibly small to you: I want you to think of my dad and his ice cream.
Go out of your way to make someone's day. It may be the smallest of gestures, but the impact is the largest.
Be the ice cream bar.
Love always,
Mel
