Clothing. It's the object that keeps our bodies separated both from the harshness of weather and from unnecessary (and occasionally unappealing) public nudity. It's also a profitable commodity that inspires billion dollar businesses and die-hard communities. For me, clothing is something I use to visually show my personality and my mood that particular day. For example, if I'm wearing a chicken suit, a bow tie, and yellow galoshes, you can safely assume that college has finally defeated me and that I need to be taken to a loony bin, pronto.

Kidding (sort of). Seriously, though, I take how I dress myself pretty seriously, and I really am trying to communicate certain attributes based on what outfit I have on. So, for those of you who are curious, or those of you who want to know when to avoid me based on my clothing alone, here are my thoughts and reasons for wearing certain clothing items.

1. Jean shorts

Jean shorts are a pretty typical summer/fall item for me, as it looks pretty good with anything from a T-shirt to a fancy shirt. About 57 percent of the time it means that I've just shaved my legs, and I'm really proud of adulting like that, but I really don't mind showing off my stubbly legs. I'm not the biggest fan of jean shorts, as chafing is a real and dangerous thing for me, but I will deal if it's 100 million degrees outside.

2. Jeans

I consider "jeans" to be anything made out of denim and longer than shorts. I will wear this bottom style almost always, although I don't wear full-length jeans during the summer/fall, as I hate being too hot. If you see me wearing jeans this time of year, I guarantee that I'm going to work.

3. A belt

If I'm wearing a belt, that means I'm wearing either of the two items above. I cannot wear any denim product without a belt. I'm a barista, not a plumber.

4. Athletic shorts

If I'm wearing athletic shorts, it means I'm going to/coming back from either marching band practice or the gym. There is essentially no other reason I would wear these, unless it's a super bad day, and I pulled an all-nighter, or I'm sick but still going to classes. If you see me walking around in these on a Tuesday carrying a large cup of coffee, please don't talk to me and avoid me like the plague.

5. A dress

Dresses are a catch-22 for me, as I find them adorable, and I don't have to wear pants (which is the goal, really). However, chafing is again a terrible curse, and I'm usually doing an odd waddle by the end of the day, which counteracts the intended cuteness of a dress. If I'm wearing one, odds are that I was either feeling particularly pretty or particularly lazy or both.

6. Skirts

I never, repeat never, wear skirts. I find them dumb, as it's like a dress with unnecessary thought added in (because you have to find a shirt that matches with said skirt). If you do see me wearing a skirt, I'm either doing a business presentation or you've stumbled into another universe.

7. Sweatpants

See "athletic shorts."

8. Shoes

Heels: I love heels like some people love their children. I find each of them beautiful, and I find no fault in them, even when they're torturing me, specifically my feet.

Sandals: Sandals are good for casual wear, meaning I wear them literally all the time.

Sneakers/Converse: I wear these at work, during the winter, and when I need arch support (usually a day after I wear heels).

Though I don't obsessively coordinate my outfits or spend out the wazoo on the hottest trends. I do, however, try to present myself like a decent human while staying true to myself. Stay styling!