In the age of photoshop and eyelash extensions, it can be hard to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself. It can be even harder if your mirror is actually a poster of the 2002 romcom "Mr. Deeds." Here are nine tips to help you find out once and for all.
Practice contouring.
There are few skills as difficult as mastering contouring. Grab your contour kit of choice and get to work. When finished, look at yourself. Whether you think you look like Kim K herself or Benjamin Button, congratulations. You are clearly looking in a mirror! However, if you are unable to evaluate your work because you are staring at the boyish smirk of Adam Sandler, you are likely face-to-face with a poster of Columbia Pictures' "Mr. Deeds."
Shine a light.
Grab the brightest flashlight or lantern you own. Turn it on and bring it into your bathroom. If you start screaming, it's good news. It means that the light is reflecting off of a mirror and burning your retinas. But, if all that the light does is illuminate the text, "Don't let the fancy clothes fool you," then you are probably reading the hysterical tagline of the "Mr. Deeds" poster taped above your sink.
Punch it.
This one is risky, but worth it. Walk right up to your mirror and punch it with all your might. If you end up with bloody knuckles and a floor covered in glass shards, you just broke your mirror. Alternatively, if you hear a ripping sound as your fist tears through the elegant mansion left to Longfellow Deeds after the death of his billionaire uncle, then you just ruined a perfectly good poster of Happy Madison's 13th highest-grossing film, "Mr. Deeds."
Get assistance from a vampire.
Never be embarrassed to ask for help. Text a vampire of your choice. If they are the kind of vampire who is glad to help you out of a jam, calmly explain the situation to them. If they are the kind of vampire who is going to be all weird about it, invite them over under the guise of a garlic-free dinner. Just get them in front of your mirror at all costs. If you don't see a vampire reflection in front of you, your mirror is standard mirror. If you don't see a vampire reflection in front of you, but do see the words, "He's got something money can't buy," then you are in fact reading the second hilarious tagline of the remake of the 1963 screwball comedy "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town."
Pop a zit.
Get really close to your mirror and start going crazy on that whitehead that just won't go away. When you finally pop it, take a step back. If your zit goo is splattered across a reflective, glass surface, then that means you made the right selection when you went out one day to buy a mirror. On the other hand, if you sprayed acne juice all over the face of America's sweetheart, Adam Sandler, then you should be ashamed and you now have a damaged "Mr. Deeds" poster as a rightful punishment.
Let your emotions be your guide.
Stand in front of your mirror and examine yourself carefully. If you are overcome with a longing for your more youthful days, you must be looking at your aging face in a mirror. If, however, you are overcome with a heart-wrenching pain because you are forced to remember when Deeds found out that the woman he was in love with was really an incognito tabloid journalist, using him to get the hot scoop, then you are likely looking a poster of the critically-panned "Mr. Deeds."
Perform a song from one of the Jonas Brothers' solo projects.
Whether you prefer a dance hit by DNCE or a ballad from Nick Jonas' 2005 Christian album, this technique is foolproof. Walk up to your mirror and sing your heart out. If you see your reflection performing what appears to be an absolutely perfect lip sync of you doing an absolutely perfect Jonas cover, then you're looking at a mirror, baby! If the person you see before you is doing a terrible job lip syncing, because it's not a person at all, but rather the phrase, "There's a new kid in town," then you are reading, you guessed it, another tagline of your "Mr. Deeds" poster.
Call Rob Schneider.
No one can recognize Adam Sandler with more ease than Robby Schnei. Grab your cell and dial ole Rob up. Tell him you need him to come to your house pronto. He will arrive almost instantly, as his schedule is completely free. Pick him up, carefully, and carry him over to your mirror. If he screams in fear at his reflection, that is Rob not understanding the concept of a mirror. If he says, "Hey, Sandman! What movie are you going to let me be in next?" that is Rob not understanding the concept of your "Mr. Deeds" poster.
Order a Mr. Deeds poster.
Scour the internet and order a 24x36 poster of the three-time Razzie award winner, "Mr. Deeds." When it arrives, pin it up next to your mirror. If in front of you, you have one "Mr. Deeds" poster and one mirror, then your mirror was a mirror all along. That said, if you now have two posters reading "Small town kid, big time right hook," then you now own two posters of "Mr. Deeds," the film that apparently needed four taglines.
