I'm no expert on relationships. Heck, I haven't even been in a relationship for a year. There is no reason for me to be thinking about moving in with my significant other right now (I can't even tell him what I want to do for dinner 99.99% of the time.) What follows in this article is not something I'm trying to force you to believe. These are just my own feelings and thoughts on what I think should happen when you decide to move in with your significant other.
I see a lot of posts on numerous social platforms about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they enter a room, about cuddling every night with your legs intertwined, that you'd be so happy to live together you'd sleep on a double bed with each other every night. But I don't think it's really like that.
I think that you stop getting butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When you're in the same room as them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle with them, I think your heart beat should be slow, and the sound of their breathing should be carrying you towards comfort. It shouldn't feel like a rollercoaster anymore, it feels like home.
I think that when you sleep, you're not curled up with each other every night. Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing opposite directions. But every night, you could find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so that your back finds theirs. Small gestures like snuggling up against their arm or stroking their hair as they fall asleep are things you do aimlessly. I would think that there would be nights where your SO will reach around you and pull you closer, like a child with a stuffed toy, like you are their comfort. In the early morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and your room has a soft glow, you curl into their chest and inhale their scent before drifting back to sleep.
I think that the kisses you share aren't always romantic and fiery anymore. But now there are so much more of them. There would be cold kisses when you're eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky ones over breakfast waffles. There would be the I'm leaving now" kisses, and "one more before you go" kisses. There would be the sleepy ones before work, when you don't remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day. There would be quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when it's loud and you gravitate towards each other. It would be as if "your" personal space and "theirs" no longer existed as separate, but as "our" personal space.
I think that confessions of love in a text message aren't always sent as much as they used to because that would be a given now. You've moved on to inside jokes about the life you're building together. It would be your own little world against the outside one.
I think that relationships aren't always a fairytale -- that they aren't always fireworks and sparks, at least after the start. Of course there are going to be times where they return, and that's fine, but a continuous show would mean eventually there will be too much smoke to enjoy it.
I believe that the loud noises of a relationship going to the next level turn into quiet rhythms and hums of love and care. I believe that the burning fire you felt at the beginning eventually turns into a slow burn in your hearth to keep you warm and comfortable. And when I get to this point in my life, I hope that this is what I experience.
