1. Crashes and viruses.

Turn on the computer to start your day and a frozen screen stares back at you. The power button is your friend, just restart it. No, the computer's given you the cold shoulder for sure. I guess I'll put it next to the heater then.

2. Update upset.

Would you like to update to the latest version of your favorite program that you use and rely on for hours on end? Yes, please. Would you like it to last the whole day? Oh no, not at all. Updates have us in a love-hate relationship. And don't get me started on iTunes. Hardware or software, it's never enough and always changing.

3. Walkie but no talkie.

We like to mumble sometimes, it's lazier than texting someone. What's even lazier are the virtual assistants Siri and Alexa. They must be tone-deaf after all these years of verbal abuse. Do you accept my apology virtual assistants? I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that? My name's not Dave, but I understand.

4. Ghosting and Orbiting.

This isn't just for dating anymore. The act of ghosting, leaving no response and deleting all connections before or after a real connection is made, is hard to understand. But orbiting is a mystery; it's sticking around for reasons unknown to the one being orbited (out of guilt or jealousy?) hoping for a connection to be kept that doesn't require a friendship necessarily. Either way, both are intrusive and antisocial. So much for social media.

5. No Wi-Fi, just why.

You reset your router, there's not a cloud in the sky, and your device won't give you the internet. Your life is mostly the internet and your Wi-Fi knows this. The only question left to ask is, "why Wi-Fi?"

6. Battery or Bust.

Jerry Seinfield says it best, we have two lives: our life and our phone's battery life. People don't always prioritize their lives when it comes to phone usage. There's probably ten or more apps that I could delete to save my battery too but tossing a cow is more fun. Better start using a phone like it was meant to be used.

7. Lost in translation.

Internet literacy is a constant issue for tech users. Texting has replaced calling someone on the phone, but when you text you have to bring some people up to speed with your shorthand lingo. You'd think the written word would give you answers but it often leaves behind more questions or the occasional excuse. Talk to someone in person next time, or pick up the phone at least, because texting is srs bsns.

8. Knowing more than you needed to.

The internet overloads you with so many results, it's hard to know exactly what you need. It's an endless black hole into a rabbit hole and into another vacuum of endless space. It's a game of trial and error and you win when you don't get distracted.

9. Attractions and Distractions

You're working on a deadline and you hear your notification bell ring. Your buddy sent you a gif and you return the favor. Now you're on a detour towards attractions and distractions. No one is safe from the internet or its dank memes.

10. The Goldilocks Effect.

Having good internet literacy is one thing but knowing how to apply it is another. Whether it's coding or something as simple as minimizing a window. Sometimes the bare minimum isn't enough and other times all the bells and whistles are more than enough. Less is more, then again more is more too. The learning curve is never-ending.