People ask, “What are you?”

I personally don’t get offended when I’m asked this question, because I know I look Latina. My skin tone and hair throw people off, and it doesn’t help ease the confusion when I speak Spanish (all of which I learned in school, by the way).

When I’m asked this question, a few of the smart-aleck answers in my head rise to the surface. I know that it’s just genuine curiosity, but sometimes I want to respond with, “Well, I am many things. I’m human, female, Southern, etc. But you’re talking about my ethnicity. In which case, I’m mixed: African-American and white.” Of course, this never comes out of my mouth because I know that this question is not meant to make me feel bad about myself, but rather to answer the mystery of where exactly my skin color came from. My most common answer is “I’m mixed, black and white.

Upon hearing my response to question 1, they ask, “But, where did your hair come from?”

I know this is a tough one. For starters, all mixed people have different textures of hair, and it makes every single one of us perfectly unique. My hair is long, dark brown, and curly. Some mixed women have relaxed or natural hair, but mine is taken after my maternal (white) grandmother. It’s all a game of chance when it comes to biracial hair, and every outcome is beautiful.

Everyone wants to know your racial preference when it comes to dating.

Since my mom was down for the brown, everyone wants to know if I sway towards white guys, black guys, Hispanic/Latino guys, or Asian guys. My question in response to theirs is: what does it matter? I like what I like, and so can everyone else of every color. There shouldn’t be an assumption about what race a mixed person would prefer to date, and there shouldn’t be assumptions about the preferences of white people, black people, Latinos, Asians, whatever ethnicity or mix of races. Everyone deserves to be with the person they want to be with.

The inevitable question: “What side do you identify with more?”

I have actually asked myself this. My life experiences point to the best and worst of both worlds, so my answer is neither. I’ve been in situations of feeling like the literal black sheep, and I’ve also been told I’m “too white” (whatever that’s supposed to mean). I was raised mostly by my white mother, but my black father also had a strong influence on my life. I am proud of my paternal grandmother’s work in Nashville’s civil rights movement, and I’m also proud of my step-grandfather’s service in the Army during the Vietnam War. I know that where I come from is an overlapping system of stories and history, but it’s all culminated to make me the person I am today.

You get to be a walking testimony to the overlap of cultures.

I can absolutely say this is the most privileging part about being mixed. I’m so thankful to be a physical representation of two races coming together because that wouldn’t have been celebrated in America’s past. I love the different customs and celebrations of each side of my family, and I especially love being the bridge between both families. It’s such a beautiful thing to be a part of multiple cultures, and I love it.