It's so easy to say that "time will heal" or "you'll be fine." While those things are true, it doesn't fill the hole in my heart at this moment. It doesn't stop the tears from flowing. Memories still flood my mind. I'm grateful for them, especially since they're a part of you that I will always be able to carry with me.

I really enjoyed all the time I was able to spend with you. Whenever I was at your house, you always did your best to make sure that I was comfortable and that you were able to serve me well, despite the fact that I was there to help you. You were like that with anybody who was in your home. You were one of the kindest, most patient, and selfless people I knew. How the world needs more of your kind.

Last summer there was a chance I would not have been home. I am so glad that God closed those doors in His sovereignty and allowed me to spend one more summer with you. Even a few years ago when I was away for most of the summer months, I still had a few weeks to spend with you. I'm really grateful for those times. I'm thankful that we were able to share ice cream along the river. That gazebo we sat at has become a very memorable place, one that I think of with a huge smile.

A lot has happened this past year. More than what I ever thought would happen at once. So many life changes, and so many emotions. Not all have been hard though, as you already know. I've learned that I can't process everything at once. I have to take it one thing at a time, usually in order of importance. Some situations took more time than others, but that was just the way it was. However, it is also important to not forget about the other situations that have yet to be processed through. It's human tendency to want to forget about them, but that is not a healthy way of handling it. It's okay to hurt and it's okay to take time to heal. No one ever said it was going to be easy, in fact, it's not supposed to be simple.

With all that being said, I know that you would never come back even if you could. You had a beautiful and blessed life, but it definitely was not an easy trail for you. However, you had so many people both family and not, that loved you. I know that you loved me. You would be very proud of where I am at in my life, even though it's a bit of a hot mess to me. I am slowly working on coping, but that is okay. Progress is still progress. I would like to think that I still have a lot of life left to live, so here goes. If nothing else, it makes you happy.