Millennials. It seems that no matter where you turn these days that someone is talking about us—some good, some bad. One of the generalizations lumped along with the group is that Millennials are ungrateful. Up until only a few days ago, I rolled my eyes at the concept—like I do with most Millennial generalizations—and went on about my daily life. We’ll show them. They don't understand, we said. But let’s focus on Millennials and gratitude first.

How many of us sign our emails with “Thanks” with barely any thought at all? Given the number of emails I receive daily, I would say a good bit. Now let’s jump to the other extreme—How many of us partook in the social media craze during November, where you take each day and overzealously describe from the bottom of your heart just how much you love and are grateful for things in your life?

My friend's mom had just been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. Chemotherapy was planned. Radiation was planned. Surgery was planned. Everything was planned. And everything worked out. It does honestly take the harsh reality of mortality to make you realize the depth of appreciation you have for a person. But things were OK. And then the cancer came back. This was around the time I had lost mine from liver failure when I was 18.

My friend and I both made it through high school graduation then I started college. We are sophomores now and all I wanted to do when I saw her name on her school's Dean's list was call her and tell her thank you. Then, of course, I realized that she would ask “for what?” and I would have to explain a lot of feelings, resulting in us both crying.

And that is when it hit me. I did not want to say something so simple as “thank you” for all of what I was feeling. The two little words, as expected as they are in society, seemed to me very paltry. That is when I realized that I really had not said thank you for a lot of things, mainly because I did not feel like it encompassed enough of my feelings. They felt rehearsed—expected. And there is no way that I am the only Millennial who thinks that “thank you” feels expected.

So it is not the fact that Millennials are ungrateful. We will obligatorily say thank you when it is something small, like responding to an email. But when you put a big wallop of emotions in our lap and you do something wholeheartedly genuine and caring, “thank you” is not the default reaction. You might get one, but nine times out of 10, it will not be the only thing you receive from a Millennial.

We need our reactions to measure up to our emotions.