Clickbait College

This is a story of why not to spend your money at the $44,380 institution who claims to “educate men and women toward maturity of intellect, character and Christian faith in preparation for lives of service, leadership and reconciliation in church and society”.

After spending what seems like an eternity at Messiah College, I am here to tell you why you should consider these items before spending your entire life’s savings at this “Christian” school in Grantham, PA. 

Upon visitation to this central-PA school, I read reviews online praising it for it’s “safe”, “friendly”, and “welcoming” environment. After spending a week here I quickly shot down these presuppositions and adopted my own beliefs regarding Messiah College. From first glance, this beautifully landscaped college strikes the eye of parents and students alike. If you are registered for a proper campus tour, you’re in luck, you will most likely be given your own parking spot for the day right outside of its very own admissions office, the exact spot you will start your campus tour. A bright, wide-eyed young woman will assumedly welcome you to the college, give you the informations necessary for the day, and offer you one of many beverages in the mini-fridge. Already, you’re impressed by this institution from its intriguing brochure! At least I was…

After being introduced to a wide-smiled, fresh-faced student ambassador, you are convinced that her feelings about the school are reliable and genuine. I mean, how could a Christian lie? Following the trek around the school grounds and after hearing a slew of striking and remarkable information, one would be tired and hungry. Messiah accommodatingly offers a meal ticket to their award-winning dining hall, Lottie Nelson. The food tastes as good as it looks, and parents are assured that their student will be fed well...and of course they will be, but after spending a semester here, I realized that tour groups are given the best food Messiah has to offer…

Later in the day, one will take a visit to the Campus Bookstore where you are encouraged to take advantage of your free t-shirt coupon! With obligation, your mother picks up a few “college visit” necessities like; Nalgene bottles with the school’s logo, additional t-shirts, and a few notebooks, you know, just incase. Soon the visit will come to a close in Old Main, but not just yet, the college finds it necessary that you meet with an admissions counselor to alleviate all fears and concerns. 

You suddenly feel confident in the college’s ability to accommodate your needs after a meeting with an admissions counselor. Provost? Sure. Academics? Outstanding. Athletics? Nationally ranked teams. The school seems to check off all the boxes, and after speaking with your parents, you apply! 

Undoubtedly, you are accepted into Messiah College (with its 80% acceptance rate)! And for just $177,520, you too, can be a Messiah Falcon. An Accepted Students Day in March of your senior year will allay any fears and excite all your emotions. Parents are convinced once again that their young adult will be taken care of with Messiah’s state-of-the-art facilities, distinguished academic programs, and welcoming environment. Another stop at Lottie Nelson reminds you of its delicious food, and finally you are excited to begin the next 4 years of your life. The countdown to move-in day begins…

Finally, August is here! You arrive on campus and are greeted by dozens of smiling faces, holding signs that direct you to where you will retrieve room keys, mail keys, and of course, the Community Covenant. Now you may be wondering what the Community Covenant is… but we will get to that later. You arrive to one of the first-year dorms (Bittner, Naugle, and Witmer), and if you are as lucky as I am, you are oh so pleased to find that you are living in Witmer 4A. To those of you who aren’t fortunate enough to have visited Messiah College, Witmer is the farthest residence hall on Messiah’s campus, and coincidentally the one I was assigned. Although I was originally worried about hauling my abundance of belongings to the fourth floor, a team of upperclassmen happily and cheerfully lugged my stuff to Witmer A415. 

The reality of it all begins to set in when I’m in my room, along with my parents and best friend, staring at boxes, bags, and totes that all need to find a place in my half of the room. Moments later I’m greeted by a cheery student, to my surprise it is my RA. And although I have a plethora of thoughts, feelings, and emotions flowing through me, I begin to unpack. While the day moves along quickly, I’m stopped in my tracks by the friendly and welcoming people around campus. I wonder if college won’t be as bad as I thought. 

Later in the day, parents are ushered to the President’s House where Kim Phipps hosts a small reception. Again, impressed by the beauty and presentation of the home, parents are assured once again that Messiah is the right place for their children. That night, the infamous Messiah College First-Year Candlelight Service is attended by families of first-years. A beautiful ceremony is organized and Messiah’s worship team performs some crowd-favorite-worship-songs that puts everyone at ease and makes everyone feel at home. Naturally, tears are shed from every member of the crowd. A heartwarming message from the campus pastor helps families to relate, as he tells a story from his own experience, creating a nice reception from the parents and students alike. After heartfelt hugs and goodbyes, tear-stained-faced freshmen are lead to Brubaker Auditorium where Orientation Groups are formed.

After remembering which group (orientation groups at Messiah correlate with your FYS (First-Year seminar) class) I’m supposed to be in, I make my way over to a dozen or so other first-years. With no “hello” or greeting from the upperclassmen responsible for us, they lead us to a classroom. We are sat down in the brightly-lit room, all confused as to what is going on. The leaders begin telling us about themselves (major, where they’re from, etc.) and pass out 3 starbursts each. This kindness doesn’t go without incorporating it into a team-building-exercise, of course. After a few more embarrassing introductions and games, our leaders dismiss us. But of course, we aren’t left alone, we are guided back to our dorms, because who can tell where they are in the dark?! 

After we are back at Witmer, we are guided into a floor meeting where any lingering questions are asked and answered. Over forty chatty girls in the small, outdated lounge-space is not only overwhelming, but also extremely annoying. Dismissal from the meeting allows us to go back to our dorms where we are bound to have a sleepless night (and if you are as lucky as my roommate and me, you will be assigned a room with a broken AC unit). 

And if the sleepless night wasn’t enough to exhaust you, an 8 AM Foreign Language Placement Exam will (and coming from a French major, who had already taken a placement exam through Messiah online, this was infuriating). Nauseous, sleep-deprived, and utter depression were the adjectives I used to describe my first morning at Messiah College. Abstaining from “Breakfast For New Students” was necessary as I was already preoccupied with my placement exam (Messiah really likes to overlap activities). An “Orientation Group Activity” at 9:30 on a 90 degree day is sure to make you feel like you’re at home. Trotting all around campus, with essentially strangers, is just as fun as the scavenger hunt they had us participate in. While many of those in the group bonded over such activities, I on the other hand did not. Many of the scavenger hunt activities included lying on the ground, creating a human pyramid, and being “engaged”. After hearing about “ring by spring” (a term coined by seniors at Messiah who attend college for the sole purpose of finding a husband/wife by the spring of their senior year), you are sure to either mock or adopt the idea (I think you can guess which I chose). Finally, after walking miles around campus, we are lead back to Lottie for lunch.

Lunch is a sigh of relief, unless of course you aren’t outgoing, an athlete, or here on some sort of scholarship. For me, lunch with my orientation group meant silence and awkward small talk. After repeating my name, major, and hometown close to 100 times that day, I literally wanted to die. But lunch didn’t even pale into comparison for what was next...the “sex” talk. 

The “sex” talk (or DTR as Messiah called it (still not sure what DTR stands for)), is just as awkward as hearing the sex talk from a Christian college sounds. This meeting discussed many of the policies surrounding “sexual harassment, sexual assault and other forms of interpersonal violence on college campuses”. Messiah holds a strong stance against sexual harassment (as any college should), but believes that since we live in a Christian environment, these types of things shouldn’t happen anyways. The Community Covenant (don’t worry, we will get to that) is a tool faculty throws around to prove and backup any statement they make. And while Messiah has had very little sexual assaults on its campus, a college should not just assume that since it is a Christian college, sexual harassment won’t take place. 

Following this serious meeting, we have an informational “Residence Hall Meeting”. To lighten the mood, RA’s and the RD show a video they put together, showing the new residents all the fun that will take place in the coming term. Reminding us of the infamous Res Hall Games that will take place tomorrow afternoon, of which I already dread. They give us information regarding maintenance, floor rules, and other residence info is discussed (take note: our AC is still broken). As I jot down some useful phone numbers, I begin to feel a little better about this place.

Later that evening, the “New Student Social” reassures me that Messiah is just as isolating as I originally thought. My roommate and I (both extreme introverts) make way to the event, seeing hundreds of fellow classmates puts us off from the start. To add to the uneasiness, it seems that groups have already begun to form. The jocks (as if Messiah has any), the theatre geeks, and other social cliques are already budding. Anxiety rises within me and after spending 45 minutes at this event, my roommate and I trek our way back to Witmer. 

Sunday begins with a “Campus Worship Service”, again hoping for some sort of reassurance that this is the place where I’m supposed to be, I pray that I’m not making any mistakes and that I find a place on campus where I feel at home. Before the extremely fun (note the sarcasm), and not at all hot res hall games, we thoroughly read the Community Covenant.

Now, before I tell you what the Community Covenant is, let me add that I signed this agreement before reading it. And although I often do not read “terms and conditions”, I wish I had read this before coming to Messiah College. 

Again, in the outdated (and might I add, smelly) lounge, the 40+ girls popcorn read the Community Covenant. At first glance it is an agreement that for a strong and healthy community, first-years at Messiah must promise to obey. Students at Messiah can not participate in the following: drink, use drugs, have sex, and a slew of other restrictions. And to an outside person this may not seem like much, but Messiah expects students to follow these rules on and off campus (even on breaks). On top of the following rules, Messiah has a strong policy regarding same-sex relations and prohibits those who are homosexual to abstain from showing any sort of PDA on campus. Also, films (as well as video games) for Messiah College students mustn’t have “excessive gratuitous violence, profanity, obscene language, nudity, or sexually exploitative material…”. Messiah fails to offer housing for married couples, yet encourages students, if pregnant, to continue schooling and housing at Messiah. To top it all, Messiah prohibits the security patrol to carry guns on its campus (I didn’t find this information out until mid-September). Although it may not seem like much to have an armed officer on campus, it means a lot to a student who lives a mile off of Route 15 and approximately 15 minutes away from Harrisburg. 

Following this life-changing meeting, we are lead outside to the rest of Witmer, who is also determined to win this year’s res hall games. The thought of the Community Covenant is soon forgotten as we run down to Starry Field. We are met with our “enemies”, Naugle and Bitner, chanting some “derogatory” phrases. As the res hall games begin, and heat sets in, we compete in several games that test our ability to work together as a floor. Yet, even as determined as we were to win, we unfortunately lost the 2017 res hall games- but that didn’t stop everyone from jumping into the Yellow Breeches Creek. I refrained from jumping in and began the trek back to Witmer. 

After dinner that night, first-years are encouraged to attend the “New Student Coffeehouse”, where the musically inclined, extroverted show-offs perform in front of comrades and new friends. Although impressed by the talent at Messiah, I depart early.

The next day is less orientation-driven, yet somehow Messiah still succeeds at making it miserable. At 10 AM freshmen are ushered to attend an assessment, where students are given an evaluation sheet. Already feeling uninterested and isolated, Messiah makes me feel even worse by asking questions like “would you donate money as an alumni?” and “how likely are you to recommend Messiah College?”. After the interrogative and invasive assessment, students are free for the afternoon, until academic advising at 1. 

I don’t have much to say about academic advising, except that it was unhelpful and not very advising, but I do have a lot to discuss regarding the “New Student Picnic With The President”. A trek over to the President’s House seems friendly and amicable, but little do I know, the “picnic” has already been charged to my meal plan. While I feel obliged to shake hands with Kim Phipps, I deem it unnecessary to stand in a line to simply introduce myself. After eating my weight in pasta salad, and making a proper introduction to the president, I leave. 

Another floor gathering that night makes me uneasy, as we sit around an iPhone in the Witmer parking lot, singing along to familiar worship songs. And as fun as it sounds to write letters to your future self (their goal is to show you how far you come at the end of spring semester), it isn’t. After crying (again), I sign my letter to myself. Finding myself extremely homesick, depressed, and anxious to start classes the next morning. 

The first week of classes is lonely, disappointing, and not what I expected. Despite the welcoming attitude during orientation week, the attitude flipped as soon as classes began.

Little by little, I found out more and more about Messiah College. While I already knew about their 14 mandatory chapel credits, I did not think that they would be used to push their political agenda. I am all for involvement in politics, especially among college students, but it is not the duty of a college to do so, especially by using chapel as a maxim. Chapels (held Tuesday mornings and nights and Thursday mornings) are painful to say the least. Their attempts at relating to students fail as they tell “relevant” stories, but my problem isn’t with that, but their deliberate use of scripture to push their agenda onto impressionable students. Many acclaimed speakers and priests all came with a message, but some came with a more obvious and brutal delivery. Environmental activists, advocates for gun-control, and even haters of the military took the stage in Brubaker Auditorium pushing their message onto students. Why does Messiah College disguise their politically motivated free speech behind mandatory chapel credits? You are going to have to keep reading…

While I assume it is for money, I could be wrong, but Messiah has generous alumni who donate millions. Donors to Messiah donate buildings, like many other colleges, but something specific to Messiah, is that if one donates a certain amount of cash, such donor is allowed to contribute to the campus’ Community Covenant. Ah, there it is. Messiah doesn’t care about its students, but cares about the money the students, alumni, and donors give. 

In relation to the cash Messiah annually brings in, one must not forget the parking issue the campus has. While Messiah’s “471 scenic acres” has multiple parking lots for its students, the Campus Safety loves giving out parking tickets to its undergraduate enrollment of 2,788. For just $150, you can pay to have your car in one of the many lots on Messiah’s 471 acres, but if parked in the wrong lot, a $35 parking ticket will be sure to follow. Not only does Messiah take the money directly out of your account (if a balance remains), but Messiah’s “Falcon Exchange” never notifies you of doing such. 

Now, you may be thinking, well aren’t you being a little too harsh? Well maybe I am, but let me continue with my experience. 

After the first week, I made my first friend at Messiah (and for respect for her and the others involved, I will not go into too much detail). While I thought she was normal, I was lead astray and months later I broke off this friendship. This girl I met had stalker-like tendencies, lacked social boundaries and cues, and was very manipulative. Her behavior with me got to be too abnormal (and uncomfortable), that I felt it necessary to speak with my RA. 

My RA was extremely unhelpful in this situation and when I spoke with her about the various scenarios that I encountered with my “friend”, she laughed most of it off and did little to nothing to help me fix the situation. I took it a step further and spoke to the RD of my residence hall, along with two other girls who had issues with our “friend”. The RD feigned helpfulness and a sincere attitude, but come to find out she never did anything about the situation and didn’t take what we said seriously. The three of us asked her to seek out mental help for our “friend” yet the RD never seeked out counseling for her. 

Due to the many awkward, dramatic, and disappointing experiences at Messiah, I decided that fall 2017 would be my last semester there. 

Recently I read an article that showed Messiah College being in the “Top 10 Schools in the Northeast Region for Engagement” (many other colleges on the list are ivy league schools), and while that information may sound impressive, it isn’t to me. Messiah checks out in every category, and I will admit to that, but this article wouldn’t be called “Clickbait College” if I didn’t disagree with a lot of what Messiah uses to lure in its students. Messiah’s ranking on this list just further proves to me that this school is clickbait. Yes, Messiah does have a somewhat engaging atmosphere, but does that compare to the numerous encounters I had at Messiah which were lonely and cruel? 

While I maintain that Messiah tries to attract attention by its impressive brochures, smiling admissions counselors, and well-maintenanced landscapes, I do believe this college can be the right place for some people. If you are like me, this isn’t the right fit. If you aren’t an athlete, an international student, or extremely extroverted, I am convinced that it won’t be the right place for you either. 

So before you click on the link to www.messiah.edu, I would weigh the pros and the cons of my article. See if this place is right for you! If it is, that’s great, but if it’s not, that is OK too. This strikingly beautiful college may be one of its only redeeming qualities in my eyes, and that was definitely not enough for me to stay. I hope that if you are reading this you have found what I said to be useful, and if you hear of someone who is interested in Messiah, you will share my experience with them. Thank you for reading this and letting me explain my journey to you. 

IG: @/meredith.elizabeth

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