~ “Decide. So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.” – Meredith Grey ~

Meredith Grey. Inspiration. Fictional. Beautiful being. You might not know who Meredith Grey is. So let me tell you a little about Meredith Grey also known as Dr. Grey. Dr. Grey is the lead star in one of T.V.’s most popular shows Grey’s Anatomy. Thirteen years later, viewers continue to lionize Dr. Grey again and again. and I am one of those lionizers; however, I have no idea why. I mean, Dr. Grey IS a fictional character and people inspire to be like her. Maybe it is because we identify with Dr. Grey, who, just like us, struggle in aspects of her career, family and life. Yet, Dr. Grey perseveres. And that, my friend, is key. We must preserve.

I begin to wonder why I never look at the positives in my life. I am healthy. I have a family who loves me. I have friends who give me enduring support. I go to an amazing university. Yet, I continue to psychoanalyze all of the negative things in my life. Today, instead of focusing my energy on all the things that could be better in my life, I decided to solely concentrate on the positives. Funny, how just on focusing on the positives I felt like my anxiety went away. A sort of comfort rested upon me. Will you do the same?

Now, I turn to the aforementioned quote by Dr. Meredith Grey. Decide. We must decide. I agree that life is not perfect. Things can always be better in aspects of one’s life. But by focusing on the positives, one’s situational perspective can change. I realized that we really only got one true shot at life. When I think of this stark statement, I begin to ask myself, “is this REALLY how I want to live.” Truly, I have not been living to my full potential. I can even see myself holding back in my studies and even social settings. I have not pushed myself. How about you?

Love is kind of a weird thing. Now looking back on it, I never been in love. I love God and I love my family and friends. But I can truly say I never loved another human being and gave myself fully to another human being. When people find out that I never had a boyfriend before, I immediately get asked the question: Why? I get really good at the response. Without hesitation, I respond: “How can you love someone else fully before learning to love yourself first.” I am not saying that I completely hate myself, but I have not learned self-love yet. Maybe I am a perfectionistic or maybe I just am delusional, but I can truly say I am bereft in self-love. Meredith Grey asks the question: Is this the person you want to love? See, most people when they read it probably read it in the context of loving another human being. But, I did not. I read it as: Am I becoming the person who I find worthy of self- love, loving another and being loved? Now decide what is it in this moment that will make you worthy of your own self-love. For me, it is learning to love the mind and body I have been given. You must constantly remind yourself that no one is perfect. No one is the same.

Life is beautiful. There is always room for self-improvement. Yes, sometimes I wish I were prettier. I wish I were more confident. I wish I were naturally smarter. I wish I were popular. I wish I were not as small. I wish life came easy. That is the thing though, if life were easy, we would still have a problem with life. Life is made to be a challenge. The question is are you up for the challenge. As daunting as it might be, why not step up and vie for your life. Because at the end of the day, you are the only one truly fighting for the life you seek to live. But the most important thing to remember is to breathe. Do not “get caught up”. It is so easy to constantly worry about what other people are doing. Why not worry about bettering yourself and take a few inhales and exhales?