If you are not one of the thousands of people who have read the article "Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos" by Lori Alexander, then consider yourself lucky. If you have read it, which I hope you do before continuing this article, then I hope to ensure you that you are not wrong for pursuing your own life.
While there are SEVERAL things wrong with this article, let us start with the main point: You are not attractive if you carry debt (presumably student loans) and therefore you should not go to college. Instead, you should avoid any relationships until you have found the man you will marry, and then your sole purpose in life will be fulfilled as a mother and wife. The first time I read that, I was at a loss for words.
How does continuing my education affect my attractiveness to a man? Why must I avoid going to college in order to be a "good wife and mother?" How am I supposed to be a role model to my children if I can't lead them? Since when is it wrong to want to be independent and successful?
To the woman who wrote this and the women that believe this, move on. It is not 1950. It is possible to have a successful career and to be a good mother and wife. We live in a time that does not support single income households. Having a job is not a choice anymore, but a necessity.
Growing up, I was always taught to be independent and make my own decisions. Now you are telling me that it is unGodly to want to be my own person? In an age of divorce and single-parenthood, the last thing I want to lose is my independence.
What am I supposed to do if I don't educate myself, I don't have any work experience, and I am left all alone with two kids and no income? If you say that men prefer "Debt-Free Virgins" then how am I supposed to gain the love and support of another man once my husband moves on?
Saying that women who go to college are unGodly because they teach "against the God of the Bible" proves that you have never actually gone to college. There is always a place for God in these universities; you just have to be willing to look. Clearly, you did not or else you would see the sororities and fraternities devoted only to God. You would see the thousands of campus ministries that are ever present even at the most "secular universities." If you were truly searching for God, you would've found Him there. Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them."
How dare you limit the possibilities of women. Who told you that women's only purpose is to be a wife and mother, and nothing more? To continue one's education is one of the bravest choices a woman can make. By making that choice, not only are you choosing to improve your life, but to be able to provide and give your children the best life they can have. A mother is a teacher, and a teacher must be wise. Proverbs 31:26 "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."
Secondly, it is my choice of how many and when I want children. I'm not choosing my career "over having precious babies." I am choosing to wait until I am ready. Everyone has a different timeline and a different choice. Some have children before they finish school, others wait until they have completed school. We are all made differently, so why should we have the same timeline?
On another note, in the age of equality, why are we shaming women for having previous relationships with a man, but praising men and allowing them to have as many relationships as possible? Why are we condemning women for bettering themselves by going to college and having debt, but allowing the man to bring even more debt into the family? The author says so in her article that it isn't right to bring a lot of debt into a marriage. So why is it okay for the man to do so if the woman can't?
Why are women the sole caretaker of the children when it takes both man and women to create them? Just as the mother should guide the children, so shall the father. Proverbs 1:8-9 "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck."
Lastly, there is only one mention of tattoos at the very end: "Stay virgins until marriage, out of debt, and don't get tattoos!" The entire argument that men don't like women with tattoos is irrelevant and lacks any sort of foundation. The author simply used it to arouse the public since it is such a controversial topic for Christians.
In fact, this entire argument that she bestowed is better viewed as arousing. It serves no actual purpose or proof, especially in today's time. In no logical thought are women only viewed as mothers and wives to God. If this is so, then why has he created us to be intelligent, resourceful, and kind? Why have we been called to teach our offspring the ways of life?
The only thing that God calls us to do is to love and live for him. Living for him means spreading the word to our neighbors and to love our neighbors as we do ourselves, not shame and judge them for their choices. If you want to be a true Godly woman, focus more on loving and educating those about Christ, not about whether or not a man will be attracted to you because you have tattoos and a debt.
