I've come to the conclusion that I won't be able to find a guy that can probably express his feelings to me. And no I'm not a misandrist, reigning my palace of hatred for men and inspiring other women to feel the same. I've come to this conclusion because men have told me to come to this conclusion. I've been told countless of times recently that men are incapable of feeling as much as women do. They are incapable of understanding why we feel so much because they never feel as much as we do. There are hundreds of reasons why men choose (or unconsciously have chosen) to defer any deep, romantic emotions, but one of the biggest ones I've seen is the fear of name calling. The fear of being rejected by their "brothers" and being called gay, a pussy, a girl, etc., because they talk about their feelings for the girl they like.
Let me get this straight. Guys reject their feelings because they're scared of being called gay, even if those feelings are completely heterosexual? When I tell a guy that guys do this (push away their feelings) to me or that his friends do it to my friends, they say the same things:
"Yeah, guys suck."
"Yeah...so?"
"I'm sorry, that's just how we [guys] are."
"Not all of us do it. You just pick the wrong guys."
To the last one, I understand not all men do it, and I understand that girls do it, too. That's not the point of this, though. The point is that I (and other women my age) are angry. Frustrated. Tired. The need to directly address the problem is important.
I'm frustrated because men have made excuses for themselves. If you want to not feel, then don't, but don't come and tell me that you can't change and you can't feel. "Boys don't cry" has been instilled into the minds of all genders, and we have allowed people to dictate and suppress men's emotions. But how does society expect men to grow, succeed, and live prosperous lives with an ounce of EQ?
It doesn't make sense.
And without any sort of effort made by men to change this status quo, there will be no improvement in relationships. The image of the "crazy" woman that's crazy because she cries, yells, feels, will continue to be perpetuated and further box women into the hysterical-women-box. Masculinity has always limited men in the emotional aspect of their lives, only allowing them to fully and easily access anger and pride.
Men feel sad, ecstatic, angry, jealous; they feel everything women feel. We are all human, and to say that men can't feel any of that for someone they like/love is to limit intimate relationships. The fear of rejection and vulnerability is a fear we all have, but to surpass that fear and open up your heart to every single emotion in a safe, comfortable pace is necessary. A life filled with passion and emotion is a life worth living. What is the point of hiding behind misogyny and the status quo to satisfy the egos of people who don't really love and care for your well-being?
