As much as I love the holiday season, it always seems to bring a melancholy feeling for my family and me. Pictures shared on Facebook and Instagram show a family filled with generations.
It stings a little bit to see those. I always remember Christmas with my grandparents, dressing up with my cousins, and getting drunk off all the happiness a 12-year-old girl can feel. Christmas hasn't felt like that in years. My junior year of high school, the only grandparents I had, passed away 18 hours apart, a few months before Christmas. It was the toughest for my mom and her siblings.
Since then, the holidays always feel like they are missing something. A call from my grandpa asking what I got for Christmas and asking me if I was a better driver yet (not yet, whoops). Driving to see my grandma and my entire family. A day filled with treats, love, and times you didn't know you should appreciate more.
I guess this is just a PSA; to those who haven't experienced a loss like that yet, it makes the holidays weird. You notice it when you look at your parents' faces as they think about the holidays when they were kids. You notice it when you catch your parents looking down at the phone, waiting for their parents to call them. The holidays can be sensitive to so many families out there.
And as much joy as they are supposed to bring, it can also bring a world of sadness to those who only want their loved ones back.
It's a hard feeling to describe. A time that is supposed to be so happy and full of magic can also feel so sad. There's a constant void at every family party now, but it's also made us more aware. We cherish each other more, I hold my sisters tighter, and tell my parents that I love them often. It takes a long time to heal from loss, but the holidays always seem to reverse that healing.
All you want to do is hug them one more time, tell them that you love them, and hold their hand as they tell you a story about their childhood. Hold your loved ones close during the holidays, whether it's a friend, your sister, or your cousin. Be aware this holiday season, that not every family is whole. Make sure to spread love and happiness everywhere you go.
