My hands could feel the vibrations that the steering wheel gave off. Every bump, pothole or crack, the wheels of the car went over, my hands felt it. It was dark and the only thing my eyes could see was a glimpse of a road the headlights of the car shined on. My hand moved from the wheel to the nob that changed the radio station. I was tired, I thought that if I blasted a bit of music to keep me awake I could make it home. Finding a station was easy, but keeping my eyes open was a daunting task this late.
My mouth opened as wide as someone shocked would open theirs, but I wasn’t shocked, I was yawning of exhaustion. My eyelids felt heavy as if someone was trying to shut them with their fingers, and I had to keep them up. Every muscle in my body felt a bit of tiredness creep into them. I only had a couple more miles to go until I would reach my destination, home.
My phone screen suddenly became the brightest light in my car which distracted what little attention span I already had. My eyes shifted from the road to the phone to see what it needed from me. I took one hand off the wheel to look at the phone that made me lose my focus, and off the road that desperately needed my attention. My eyes started reading the words that appeared on the screen, at the same time that my focus was on the bright object that my hand held, something went amok, at this moment something happened that I’ll never forget.
The sensation that my hands felt going over every groove and bump in the road had now transferred to my entire body. I heard a loud bang my car started vibrating and making me join along. The wheel turned in its own direction, not by my doing. My mind only had one thought racing through it. I had to stop this car at all costs. I grab the wheel and make a sharp right off the road and into a field. I strike the emergency brake and pull as hard as I can to stop this car from driving any further and killing me.
The car finally stopped dead in its tracks which made my head go flying forward onto the steering wheel and back again to the seat. I felt pain. Not the type of pain someone would feel getting a cut or scraping their knee. Not the pain a person would incur from a cat scratch or a slap across the face. This discomfort was nothing like I had ever experienced before. My nose felt the sensation of something so cold it almost felt hot. It felt like it was throbbing all around and spreading onto the cheeks of my face.
My hands came off the steering wheel and the brakes to feel the damage that had been done to my nose, only to come across feeling a wet fluid underneath my nostrils. I knew that it was blood.
The thoughts in my mind started to rush in. What on earth happened? Where am I? Did I hit anything? I unbuckle the seatbelt that had started to suffocate me and grab the door handle to open the car. I needed to know what was going on. I needed to know that I did not hit anything. Worry overcame my mind, the thought that I had hit something or someone scared me. Not only scared me but gave me paranoia that I could have been a killer tonight.
Before I got out of the car I grabbed my phone to use as a flashlight so that I would be able to see my surroundings. My legs start to take me to the front of my car to see the damage that had been done to it. I shine the light on the hood of the vehicle to get a better view of the accident.
When I took a closer look at the dent, I saw a red liquid, and I knew exactly what it was. My heart dropped, my breathing started to escalate at a faster pace, the palms of my hands start to feel wet and shaky. I was in utter shock. “No, no, no, no.” The first and only words that came out of my mouth at this moment. My head started shaking from side to side, my whole body’s reaction was a big solid no.
I couldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I had injured an animal or person. All of a sudden, I hear a voice, it’s weak and low it whispers out the words, “Help, me.” I had hit a person. My legs again pull me in the direction of the voice, to find the victim that my car had injured. “I’m here, I’ll help.”
I start walking closer to the cries of this poor innocent person. When I make it to the body lying helplessly on the floor I turn off the light that my phone provided as a flashlight. I didn’t want to see what I had done. I didn’t want to get a glimpse of the hurt I had caused. I didn’t want to know what I did. The shock in my body made my knees give out which made my body collapse to the floor. My face now in my lap.
The only thing my nose could smell was the blood it was filled with and the grass it was too close to. “Are you alright?” I say in a quiet voice. I knew the answer was no, but that was the only question I could come up with.
“I think I’m losing a lot of blood, I need to go to the hospital.” I could hear in the voice, that this was a man, a man that was injured very badly, and the only way for him to recover from his injuries was by a doctor. My mind started to wonder, what would happen to me if I took him to the hospital? What would happen if he died? Would I go to jail?
I knew that this was an accident, but everything has a price. The price for this incident would be a life sentence to jail. I had two choices: take this dying man to the hospital and probably be put on trial for putting his life in danger, or walk away.
“Help me.” He cried out. The thought ran through my mind, help him or help yourself. My eyes started to water – the amount of guilt I felt in my stomach was rising. I banged my hand against the dirt ground. My legs started shaking, trembling with fear. My heart racing, pounding against my chest.
I got up, tears streaming down my face I took a glance at the man lying there, he was hoping that help was on the way. “Please.” He trusted me to help him. I got up and turned around facing my car, my mind was made up. I knew what I was going to do.
My legs once again pulled me to my car. While walking to the vehicle, not once did I look back. I had decided to help myself instead of helping the person I had just victimized. I knew my choice would have consequences. I felt disgusted by this choice, the decision I made to leave a man for dead. I didn’t understand why a choice that benefitted me felt so wrong. I didn’t want to do it, but I did.
