LOS ANGELES, CA – It’s 2:00 PM on a Saturday as Charles Hunt, 21 and self-proclaimed “marijuana enthusiast,” rolls and seals his seventh joint of the day (3rd if you count his nap at noon as a break between days) in his bedroom, thick with the smell of marijuana smoke and delivery pizza. Upon inquiry into his passion, Hunt expressed remorse at the “smear campaign” popular media has been spreading about cannabis.
“People act like it’s, like, crack or something” continues Hunt, lighting the cylindrical cone of “Purple Kookamunga.” “They say ‘it’s a gateway drug’ and ‘it’s addictive,’ and that’s just total bull. I don’t smoke weed ‘cause I’m addicted, I smoke weed because without it, everything is boring.”
Hunt further insisted that claims of stoners’ laziness and lack of motivation were “totally wack, man.” “I’ve done a lot of things with my life,” said Hunt, referencing such achievements as “maxing out a character in Skyrim” and “listening to every Primus album straight.”
When asked about the legality of his “favorite hobby,” Hunt insisted it was all very legal and legitimate. “My doctor prescribed this to me, it’s a medicine” said Hunt shortly before coughing up a sizable amount of black phlegm.
Hunt went on: “I mean, not my doctor, he would’ve said no, but it was a doctor on Venice beach. I know because he wore a stethoscope, like that guy on House, what was his name?” said hunt, who spent the next 20 minutes trying to remember the name of the character after which the show was named before abandoning his fruitless efforts.
