So, you probably clicked this article because it has the words "dog" and "old man" in the title. You thought two things, either this is going to make you laugh or sob uncontrollably. I'm here to warn you that you will feel neither feeling. If I've done this article correctly by the end of this you'll want to help the poor old man that is trapped in my dog's body.
I think his name is Melvin.
Here's how I've come up with his name: He looks at me when I call him Melvin.
See, his "dog persona" name that was given to him was "Chip." He responds to Chip only sometimes, but no matter what, Melvin seems to work. He also really looks like a Melvin.
He likes to go out for walks, but not for too long. If he wants to stop, he'll stop. He'll sit down and he won't get up. If I give the leash a little tug, he'll lay down. He's an old man, he deserves to take mandatory breaks.
He has back problems, too.
Stairs are a climb, and not a regular one. It's a struggle. Sometimes, if it's raining out, his back hurts him more. He'll wait for us to pick him up and carry him up the stairs. Most of the time, however, he hates being picked up because even though he is an old man, he still wants to do everything himself and to not have help.
He's getting grumpy. If anything happens he'll bark. If something is out of place, he'll bark. It's a little bark. More like a grunt, actually. He'll do that or he'll sneeze, but it's a fake sneeze. And he knows it's fake. It's like our secret.
When the weather is bad he likes everyone together. Just as a grandparent would want their family safe from the weather, Melvin wants that for us.
He likes the warmth. In our house, our insolation is old and sometimes it doesn't work all that well. In these instances you'll find Melvin sleeping right by the heating vent. When it gets really cold, we put up heating fans that oscillate. He also likes to walk with the oscillation of the fan so that he's always warm. In my mind it's Melvin dancing.
He also has no control of his bladder. He'll go while he's eating, running, climbing stairs. You can tell he gets embarrassed when it happens. He'll go to the corner of the room and start chewing on a bone and looking around.
But here's where it get's interesting...
We live across the street from an old lady. Every time I walk little Melvin she comes out and watches. And every time Melvin sees her he stops and looks.
I think they're husband and wife. Or at least were.
This old lady doesn't speak to anyone. Nor does she seem to have family or friends. She definitely lives alone. She also has her property covered in cameras.
So, call me crazy, but I have a feeling this old lady is on guard of the witch that turned her husband, poor Melvin, into my dog Chip. I think the witch is coming for her next.
So, please, if you see anything out of the ordinary please comment on this article (only serious inquires please). Let's save Melvin and the old lady that lives across the street from me!
#saveMelvin
