With Christmas over and the new year just around the corner, I have been reflecting on 2018 a lot . . . but haven't we all? And honestly, amidst all the looking back, I have come to realize that 2018 has not been the wonderful year I thought it would be. Granted, it has been good, but it was not great. There was a lot of pain I had to walk through, a lot of rough seasons, but I recently realized that these hardships provided lessons that I can carry on into t he new year. So here go my New Year's Resolutions:

The first is to give less of a crap of what others think about me. I am all for maintaining a reputable, God-honoring reputation. I was raised with the belief that your reputation is all you really have, so you should do your best to make sure its a good one. However, I no longer want to change pieces of myself to please those around me. Recently, I realized that I change how I speak and how I act around people I am trying to impress; granted, they are minute qualities, but I am still not being my true self, and this is not fair to either me or the people I am with.

Next, I would like to grow closer to God. As of this past year, I have drifted from God and have let my relationship with Him fall by the wayside. I prioritized everything else in my life above getting to know Him better. As I am becoming my own adult, I am needing to depend less on the relationship that my parents built for me, and more on the relationship that I grow and cultivate on my own. I believe in God and I love him, but I want 2019 to be the year that I truly get to know Him.

I learned that I need to manage my time better. Six months ago, I started my first job and college back-to-back. I struggled trying to juggle both and smoothly incorporate both college and work into my already busy life. But I finally found a pattern to stick to, and I think I finally have a good understanding of time management. So 2019 is (prayerfully) going to be the year where I don't get stressed out by failing to properly manage my schedule.

And finally, I would like to invest more time in getting to know friends. All my life, I have moved constantly. On this most recent move, I found myself falling into a self-preserving mindset. I always knew another move was inevitable, so I told myself not to grow attached. "You know you'll only have to say goodbye again; save yourself the pain and don't get attached." So I got to know people, but it was always with the expectation of leaving them again, but I want that to change. I don't know when and if I'll go, and if I constantly live with the expectation of leaving, I won't appreciate the present. I won't cherish the time I have here. So, going forward, no matter where I am, I want to fully invest in everyone I am with for as long as I am blessed to be with them.