With the new school year and pumpkin spiced-everything starting, it is all too easy to fall back into the same hum-drum routine <insert clip of Eeyore sighing here>. The sunsets come earlier and earlier, the chill in the air haunts you to your bones, and no amount of hot cocoa or blankets seem to warm you up.

HOWEVER

That does not mean you have to let the gray skies darken your mood! Earlier sunsets mean later sunrises, and sunrises are a free gift every day. Colder weather means an excuse to buy all the sweaters and legwarmers you can afford, and an extra excuse to bake cookies and cuddle with your guy/girl.

Getting to this point where I automatically try and find the positives has been an uphill journey, and it is not over. As many people know, I deal with generalized anxiety, and my past of dealing with clinical depression comes up every now and then. Having negative thoughts constantly swimming in your head can be so degrading to your happiness, BUT I promise you: 1, you are not alone-so many people deal with anxiety in some form, and even those who don’t still deal with worry and negative thinking; and 2, you are not stuck. This rut you may have found yourself in, of being consumed with negative thinking, is not permanent. It is not forever. It doesn’t even have to make your 10/10 day go down to an 6/10 if not worse. I’m going to share with you some things that help me get back on track, and hopefully could help you.

1. Sit and think about it. This may seem counterproductive, but let me explain. Your issues seem more daunting when the thoughts creep into your daily routine and interrupt your flow. So take a few minutes, and just sit and think about all that is stressing you out. Think about the bills or insurance or whatever. Let the thoughts scream at each other in your mind, and as you feel you’re losing control, remember this: you are, in fact, in control of your own thoughts. So, try to counter your questions with solutions. So if you’re wondering about paying the bills, write down every bill you have, when it’s due, how much it is, and your plan as of THIS SECOND to handle it. Once you feel calm inside again, then you can solidify your plan, but for now- just shut up your anxieties by getting things in order, even if the things are just your thoughts.
2. Drown your anxieties with music. Although music therapy has not had its deserved breakthrough yet, listening to music to cope is such an important tool. And, so many of us already do this that I feel like we don’t realize it is a real coping mechanism. Put on your favorite Pandora station, or Spotify playlist, or better yet…break out your old iPod (it’s probably still charged, battery lives years ago are much better than today) and listen to a few of the old favorites. If you feel like you listen to your all-time favorite band all the time, listen to them again. The powerful thing with music is that one song could have a thousand different meanings depending on the ears that are listening. So listen to those punk rock songs you used to jam out to in your “emo” days in high school, break out that old N’Sync CD you can’t part with, or blast Rihanna and practice your twerking skills. Whatever it may be that distracts and relaxes you, DO IT. And as your conscious is jamming and dancing, your subconscious is working on solutions in the background.
3. Never underestimate the Power of the List. Lists are so helpful- there’s reason so many of us are “list-aholics” (myself included). Write a To-Do list for today, tomorrow, the month, etc. Write your grocery list, your anxieties. Whatever is in your head, write it down. Get it out of your system, your head, and get it on paper. The overwhelming-ness about your problems is that it’s all in your head, and you feel like it’s too much to remember. So write it down. Even if this only helps 10%, at least that’s 10% less stress that is rattling around in your mind.
4. Take advantage of an offer to talk. You know what I’m talking about- those people that ask “Hey, you okay?” and you blow them off because you think that you’re doing them a favor. If people didn’t want to help you out, if they didn’t care about how you’re feeling- they wouldn’t have asked. And as one of those people that ask “Hey, you okay?”- I do actually want to listen. I want to help you not feel so shitty, and I want to try and make the world feel a bit lighter on your shoulders. So take us up on our offer! I speak for all of us that if we asked, we care and would be absolutely delighted to lend an ear. Or if you have one of those friends that always seem up to listen, take advantage! No one said you have to deal with your problems alone, even if you are the only one affected by them.
5. Treat yourself as you would a child. And before the judgment is made, let me explain. Throughout my road to recovery from depression, one of the things I did to help myself feel better is I “babied myself”. In doing so, I would make cookies, or watch my favorite movie, or take a nap. I did something to comfort myself, to acknowledge the fact I am sad and that this can be fixed. So when you are starting to feel gloomy, try to think of things that would help a little kid feel better- watching a Disney movie, taking a nap, etc. Something small, and while you may think it doesn’t help much, it does.

For this one I’ll share more of an example. When I would feel depressed, I would lay in bed. Maybe I’d cry, maybe I’d fall asleep, watch Netflix, etc. And after some time went by, I got up and I made sure I had something to eat, and then relaxed more. Within time, I’d have to do this less and less because I learned the other tactics, but this one is just as important.

Making the effort to stay happy is hard, as crazy as that may seem. But it is hard- you will find times where you feel all the work you did has gone to waste and you’re back at square one. And, then you’ll realize that you know what to do. You’ll put on music, take some time to organize your thoughts, and go back to kicking today’s ass.

Because that’s all any of us really can do, is just focus on conquering today.