1. "Why is there a 4,000-person long line when the best thing they're serving today is pizza?"

I mean, really? I can't say anything because I'm a member of this line, but why are we doing this? Why are we waiting so long just to smuggle out a few apples and a coffee cup full of probably-not-coffee?

2. "Great, the escalator isn't working again."

Have to get that cardio in before lunch, I guess.

3. "What if you didn't take up this whole pathway walking .1mph?"

I've literally quoted Dwight Schrute while walking through Lenoir — and I'm sure I'm not the only one. If you plan on meandering along like a turtle — Get. Out. Of. The. Way.

4. "Are you seriously taking up a whole 4-person table just to sit there on your laptop?"

This might come as a shock to you, but some of us need to eat lunch before we go to class. There are like a million libraries here...why are you taking up a whole table just to study? Obviously this doesn't apply if you study while you eat, but if you're done with your food — leave.

5. "I could always beg a stranger to let me sit with them."

I might make a new friend or I might sit in awkward silence for 30 minutes. At least I have somewhere to set my plate, right?

6. "You know, I can just stand by the pizza and eat with one hand."

Once you've searched for a table for 20 minutes, it's time to give up. The inconveniencing spirits of Lenoir have won this day. Try again tomorrow.

7. "This was not worth the wait or the swipe. They better have good desserts today."

On the bright side, you aren't at Chase Dining Hall, so at least the ice cream (or should I say, frozen yogurt) machine might be working.

8. "Should I take my lunch plates to the dish return before I get dessert so it doesn't look like I've eaten a 7-course meal?"

Yes, I have four plates, three bowls, and the wrapper from an ice cream cone. Mind ya business.

9. "How many pieces of chocolate ganache cake could I eat consecutively before it killed me?"

Bright side, you can't do homework if you're in a sugar coma.

10. "I wonder if a piece of cake would fit in a coffee cup?"

Be careful, they're watching.

11. "Will they notice if I put 7 apples in my bag?"

The answer is yes, yes they will.