You Will Never Regret Having A Big Heart

No Matter How Much It Hurts Sometimes, I Will Never Regret Having A Big Heart

A big heart can be good, but also bad.

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"Just be the freaking person that cares more. Be the person who tries harder, loves stronger, gives more of a shit than all the half-alive people who surround them. Be the person who answers their messages, shows up to commitments and doesn't leave others hanging or guessing at their vague intentions... because the last thing this world needs is one more indifferent person" - Heidi Priebe

I'll be the first to admit that having a big heart isn't all sunshine and rainbows. More often than not, the pain of having a big heart will bring you to your knees, gasping for air between sobs because you care too deeply for everyone around you. Having a big heart will keep you up at night and distract you during the day, but despite the heartache, I wouldn't change having a big heart for anything. Having a big heart makes me who I am and it is the most rewarding thing in the world.

So, to everyone reading this, go out of your way to do something nice for someone you care about. Send that text, write that letter, make that call, buy that cup of coffee, buy that gift, check in on your people and make sure they know that they're not alone. Little actions like these can make all the difference in the world. What takes you 10 minutes will leave an everlasting impression on them.

I promise you will never regret being a good person.

But you might regret not showing your gratitude. As scary as this might seem, you never know when the last time will be the last time. Dying is a part of life and you never know when someone's time will run out so say the things you feel while you still can. Let your friends know that you think they are remarkable human beings, tell your parents that you love them, tell your professors all that they've done for you, tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that they light your soul on fire. Don't leave anything unspoken because our time here is limited. Stop thinking you have forever and start living as though tomorrow is never promised.

Remember, there's nothing more beautiful than being desperate, than being vulnerable. And there is nothing riskier than pretending not to care.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Internet outraged at Delhi Aunty for Sl*t Shaming

Public outrage - justified or an overreaction?

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When the topic of sexual violence against women arises, women are often held responsible - because of how they dress, or how they behave, or even if they have a voice. A recent incident in Delhi showed that the mindset of people has not changed. In a video posted by Shivani Gupta, a middle-aged woman is seen defending her claim, "Women wearing short dresses deserve to be raped."

This backward mentality surrounding rape and rape culture is horrifying to see. The middle-aged woman first shamed them for wearing short clothes and when she was confronted, she told them "they deserved to get raped." She made things worse when she told other men in the restaurant to rape such women who wear short clothes.

Shivani and her friends later confronted this woman while taking the video. They wanted a public apology for her statement and followed her around. The older woman stood by her statement. Fair enough. They felt threatened by her statements and wanted an apology for her actions. The older lady, however, was brazen about her ideologies and refused to apologize. In fact, she threatened to call the cops for harassment.

The woman who made the regressive statements. Shivani Gupta

While the anger and outrage by the women who uploaded this video are justified, several questions are being raised on whether the older woman was later harassed for her statements. Public shaming is not the way to solve this issue.

"We cannot dismantle a culture of shaming by participating in it." - Rega Jha.

Now, I believe that nobody must engage in victim shaming. Nobody has the right to police the outfit one wishes to wear. It is astonishing to believe that even in the 21st century, people still believe that an outfit determines the morality and character of a person. That older woman was wrong to sl*t-shame the girls for wearing what they want. That being said, even though what that woman did was horrible, public shaming will not work. It will not change the mindset behind these ideologies. What that older woman did was akin to bullying. Publicly shaming her, stalking her facebook account or posting comments or by coercing her, you are also behaving in the same manner of bullying.

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