What You Should Know About Someone Whose Love Language Is "Quality Time"

What You Should Know About Someone Whose Love Language Is "Quality Time"

Uncovering this information is very important for the success of any relationship – whether it’s your family members, best friends or lover.
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We all have a different, unique way of expressing and receiving love. Some people give and receive their love through their words, some through gift-giving, some through physical touch and others through acts of service (like washing the dishes, for example).

The love language test offers a set of questions that the user must answer in order to discover his or her way of loving. Uncovering this information is very important for the success of any relationship – whether it’s your family members, best friends or lover.

Typically, you and your significant other are going to have a different love language. That being said, it is important to discover your love language and your partner’s love language at the start of the relationship so you can give and receive love is the most effective way as possible. Knowing this information will also help you understand yourself and your lover to a deeper extent.

If you’ve ever taken the five love languages test then you have probably heard the term “quality time.” Generally speaking, you should be honored if your partner’s love language is quality time because that means he or she simply needs your presence in order to feel fulfilled. What a compliment!

That said, here are some ways you can further express love to your quality time partner:

1. Concentrated attention

For someone whose love language is quality time, I can attest to the need of concentrated attention. There is nothing worse for us quality-time-people than to see that our partner isn’t fully paying attention to what we’re saying. It really feels like a slap in the face.

If your quality time partner sees you checking your phone or looking away while they’re talking, the message you are relaying to your partner is that you don’t care. It is crucial for your quality time partner to see that you’re fully there both mentally and physically when he or she is talking.


2. Quality conversations

Concentrated attention and quality conversations go hand-in-hand with each other. Not only does your partner need focused attention in a conversation, but he or she is fulfilled through meaningful conversations – not surface level talk. Try conducting real conversations. Talk about what made you who you are, your fears, goals and biggest dreams. Ask your quality time partner about their life, and really tune in to what they are saying.


3. Pre-plan a special date

Yes, like I said earlier, your partner only needs to be with you to be happy and feel loved. However, if you two simply sit on the couch every night and watch three hours of a show before you have to leave, your partner probably isn’t going to be fulfilled. When it comes to time, it’s more about quality, not quantity. With that in mind, go do something meaningful together: take a walk, go to a movie, do something adventurous or cook dinner together.


4. Schedule time to hang out on a weekly basis

Your quality time partner needs to know that they’re going to see you. Even if it’s not every day, he or she needs to know when they’re going to see you ahead of time. Since your significant other gives and receives love through quality time, it’s safe to say that their security rests in the time that you two have together. That being said, your partner needs something to look forward to in order to support his or her own confidence.

If you have never taken the love language test and want to discover the ways in which you love, I suggest you complete the brief questionnaire. Your love language may be something completely different from what you expect!

Cover Image Credit: William Stitt // Unsplash

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Why Girls Love The Dad Bod

If your man can rock the dad bod, he's a keeper.

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In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod.

Girls have been dealing with body image issues since the beginning of time until recent (for those of you who consider yourselves to be "Thick thin") I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod.

After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.

The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favor. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive. Here are a few reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod.

It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

SEE ALSO: Slim Thick Is The New Thin

We like being the pretty one.
We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.


So there you go. A simple break down of why girls everywhere are going nuts over this body type on males. We like it. We love it. We want some more of it. So here's to you dad bods, keep it up. Men, confidently strut that gut on the beach because while you stare at us in our bikinis we will be staring just as hard.

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Dating Apps Actually Cause A false Sense of Female entitlement

Do us women now have a false sense of self-esteem?

Jada
Jada
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When I was newly eighteen, I got rejected by a boy that I liked for two years and knew that every boy in my grade at my high school wouldn't date me because they thought I was ugly or because I was Black. Due to these two things, I felt as if I was ugly and had no hope of meeting a boyfriend the "normal" way, so, I downloaded Tinder just to see where it would take me, which was everywhere. However, after a long bit of writer's block and a talk with guys that I've met recently, one has approached me with the shocking fact that maybe dating apps such as Tinder give women a false sense of entitlement.

I know that I'm all for female empowerment to the point where it's been a common occurrence in my articles but for once, I have to say that my male friend and the experiences of my male friends are completely right--we do. And, after taking extremely retrospective at how I used Tinder, I can confidently say that I do, too.

Now, let's look at the facts. My amazing male friend who gave me the idea for this article also sent me an article by OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder titled Your Looks and Your Inbox. The first big points mentioned in this article are about attractiveness in relation to how many inbox messages that you, as a user, receive. Rudder first touched on the male perspective before going onto the female one.


Chart formulated by Christian Rudder

According to men on OkCupid, a girl is as likely to be rated extremely ugly as they are likely to be rated extremely attractive, and most women that were rated medium, which is represented by the dotted line in the chart. The dotted line, according to Rudder, is the "unfiltered opinions of male users." However, the focus of this chart is the messaging patterns of men to the women they have previously rated. Sixty-six percent message the top thirty-three percent of women, meaning, if you're considered a 2.5 (medium) and above then you are most likely going to be messaged by a guy. Now, putting this into ratios, guys are fighting 2 to 1 for the best looking girls on the website.

So, let's apply this to myself and my experiences on Tinder.

A selfie taken from my old dating profileJada Middleton


This is a photo of me taken from my old dating profile. Now, I would say that I'd be considered within the 3 to 4 range of attractiveness according to the guys on OkCupid. However, when it comes to me on newer dating apps such as Tinder, I get a fair amount of matches from guys who are in and out of my league (whether they be too ugly or too "hot" to match with me). When it comes down to following through and messaging me, I would say about a good 75% of my matches message me first and then tried to keep the conversation going when they noticed I wasn't interested. Which, can correlate with the line graph.

On the other hand, women, myself included, are a bit harsher. Eighty percent of women rate guys as worse looking than medium (2.5 on Rudder's x-axis). However, when it comes down to messaging the guys, we become more lenient and message the people we find less attractive. But women absolutely refuse to message guys that are considered extremely attractive.


Chart formulated by Christian Rudder

When applied to me, I would say that my messaging habits are kind of skewed. On Tinder, I rarely message first unless I really want the guy to notice me or I personally think that my match is attainable. Going along with OkCupid women, if I match with a guy that is a 5 (most attractive), if I am feeling up the challenge, I will message first even though I am ignored half the time.

Moving back to the title of this article, we're talking about how websites and dating apps give women a false sense of entitlement. It's all in the numbers with this OkCupid article. Men are extremely gracious when it comes to rating us based on our looks and are a little bit, just a little bit more selective when it comes down to actually messaging us. Due to this, some of us girls, who are middle-tier and under, like myself, when it comes down to looks, feel as if we are a tad bit too good to shoot someone a message first. We place that burden on the guy because our egos are so inflated by the fact that all these guys that we personally find attractive matched us. Retrospectively when I rephrase my last sentence, women also gain more inflated egos by the fact that guys we personally find attractive and the ones we find not so attractive match us. So, we feel like they should do all the work and message us first because we may feel as if we are too good looking for them.

This is why apps, such as Bumble, are game-changers.

Bumble creators understand that it takes two to tango but they also realize that this is a new age. I think that they realize that us women are kind of entitled but also if we're screaming about gender equality (which we are, myself included) that it should put it to the test with Bumble, so that's why we have to message first. And, Bumble developers challenged women even further by forcing us to message first but in twenty-four hours.

They've capitalized on the fact that women like being chased but now, they're forcing us prey to now become predators.

This is good because it's a way not only to push women but also to help deflate the false sense of security that Tinder has given us and personally, I like it. It sets up more realistic expectations for when we are at a bar or a club and we're giving looks to a guy who is giving them back but won't approach us-- we can see if we're either going to sink or swim. It helps us with rejection. And, like it or not, we all sometimes need a reality check.

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Jada
Jada

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