3:00 a.m. Your phone buzzes. There’s a text that says, “Where you at?” Now, in the wise words of Ted Mosby, we ALL should know that “Nothing good happens after 2 A.M.” You ignore the text, roll over in your bed with your belly full of whatever liquor you were drinking that night and sleep soundly in your bed alone. You think if you ignore this text, no more will come. But, it’s only Thursday night/Friday morning. You have two more nights of the weekend to continue to get these texts. You’ve still never learned the lesson of NOT giving out your number at the bars. These fine and charming young men compliment you, buy you a drink, and ask for your number. DON’T. It’s a near guaranteed deal that you will receive a text hours later, and I can promise that it’s not to take you out to dinner next Friday.

Ladies, you aren’t going to meet your lawfully wedded husband in a bar one night when you’ve both consumed your body weight and then some. So, go home to your bed alone and just be excited that your computer is waiting for you with Netflix ready to go. Also, I suggest bringing some pizza into bed with you too. But then, it gets complicated. There really aren’t an awful lot of places to meet someone. Say you’re in college. You go to class, in which you idly sit and stare at the board, and the minute the teacher says the lecture is over, you’re zooming out of that classroom. You talk to no one (unless conversation is forced upon you for a class activity). And then, you sit in your bed (or the library) and study quietly. Maybe you even work, and you are there for various hours of the week. But then, the weekend hits and you go to the bar. It’s really your only free time, and it’s where you meet people. But, trust me, those people aren’t the kind of people you want to be spending your time with. So, there’s a door slammed in your face. Dozens of opportunities are out there, but they are bad opportunities.

Not to mention, everybody nowadays is so petrified of commitment, and it is honestly pathetic. No one’s ever ready to date, but we are always “talking to somebody.” What in the hell does that even mean? No one is able to commit to anything because we all have the world at our fingertips, and don’t want to settle for anything when they’ve got constant options. The recent generations are so used to getting exactly what they want when they want it. It’s this world of instant gratification, and it is terrible for dating. Trying to date is like sitting in purgatory. So once again, the door of love is slammed shut.

No. No. No, no, no. Unlike what Ana and Elsa from "Frozen" claim to teach all young women, love is not an open door. It is challenging, probably not worth the time it takes, and annoying. All of this hard work to be “happy” for the rest of your life? Uh-uh ladies, you don’t need no man to make you happy. YOU are ENOUGH, and you should feel enough. A bottle of wine might help you when you’re feeling low, but you don’t need someone to share it with. Eat chocolate and pizza. Drink wine (or vodka). Cuddle in bed with all of that AND your computer in the cute new pjs you bought for yourself. You do you, girl and you do it alone.