The next time someone asks me if I’ve ever been in love, my answer will be yes. Maybe not with a person, but with his words. Words that captivated me, words that inspired me, words that made me believe in the idea of love. Words that taught me what I want in life, words that showed me what love actually is.
I’ve always considered myself a writer, even before I really deserved the title. I used to think I was going to be the next Jane Austen, writing novels about the love I wish I had. Then I saw a poem by the man who forever changed my life. The words seemed to jump off the page, touching me in a way I didn’t realize were possible. “I am however young writing at random -- straining at particles of light in the midst of great darkness.” These words resonated with me; it felt like someone finally understood that just because I’m young didn’t mean my words and thoughts weren’t worth hearing. Little did I know, these words weren’t the only ones that lit a fire inside me.
Like most other high school students, I thought poetry was a joke. It was some chapter we were required to go over. And it was never my favorite. I hated the hours we spent dissecting every word the writer used, trying to assign this greater meaning to a word I’d known since I was six. I didn’t know the feelings words could evoke, how powerful words really are, until I read John Keats. His words made me want to be in love. He created this romantic in me that I swore I’d never be. “Poetry should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts, and appear almost a remembrance.”
His words of love made me fall in love with this man that I’ll never meet, a man who lived decades before I was even a thought. His idea of what love truly was made me question everything I learned in movies and songs and romance novels. His words seemed to take everything I could never say and give them meaning I could never quite understand. “Love is my religion. I could die for that. I could die for you."
John Keats: I love you, at least until I find someone who loves me the way you taught me I should be.
