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Being in love with a close friend


i apologize in advance for my writing but this is the first of many to come. Well i want to write and tell you guys about my situation with being in love with a best friend. I met this girl my senior year of high school during my Spanish class. She was the new girl and i was amazed at her smile. She wasn't smiling to be nice i feel like she was smiling cause she was new and everything felt awkward just walking into a class where you don't know anyone. Anyways that smile is what attracted me to her. Fast forward to present time, i been her friend for about 5 years and i truly consider her a best friend. She would always be there when i needed to text someone or going to food runs at the most random times. With these five years of friendship she witness me being in a relationship with one girl and i also got to witness her being in relationship with other people. After my ex and i broke up i always wanted my next girl to be my last. So with my best friend i witness her break ups where i wanted to pound all the guys for hurting her and just let her know it will be okay. She might not know but her being hurt really hurt me too. I never saw a girl who deserved the most in the world. With every obstacle shes encounter she has showed me how strong she truly is and has showed me what i need instead of what i want. She is the woman i need to help me with my journey of finding myself in this world. Her personality is one reason i love her. She is so goofy but also so responsible and independent which is what i really like about her personality. Although her looks are incredible, her personality is what made me like her a lot and is also what changed my mind towards any other girl. I never got these butterfly feelings for any girl but with her i also feel nervous even though i known her for quite a bit. If you're still reading I'm trying my best to keep expressing myself with everything making sense. Anyways I love her but I value our friendship so much I'm scared to even have something go wrong with it. Regardless of my feelings i also feel like she doesn't love me and have the same feelings i do for her. Not trying to put myself down but I'm not exactly her type. I personally feel like she wouldn't like me due to my body. I don't look like a fancy looking sculpture created by Michelangelo or Da Vinci, im just your average looking guy from a small city in North Carolina. Second thing i feel that would holds up is that i don't have similar interest in a few stuff. For instance she loves country and i absolutely don't enjoy that type of music on my own time unless someone plays it. Overall this is just a random thing that is always stuck in my head and she is the one although were both young shes the one i really want to make memories with. i just don't have the confidence to ask her out and afraid of rejection and being lost without her.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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