Every semester is different full of emotions, experiences, and adventures. As classes begin, we embrace ourselves to what is about to come. The first week is always a breeze for some of us, and for others, it feels like an eternity. Our emotions are all over the place, like the following:
We are nervous as we introduce ourselves to strangers who could care less about us. We regret taking those 8 AM classes. We feel happy seeing our friends again. We are ecstatic when the professor cancels class for the week. And we might feel stressed out already.
Well for the first time ever, I felt lost and confused. I felt like I wasn't prepared for this semester at all. As I walked into my first class on Monday with two of my best friends by my side, I felt out of place. Something didn’t feel right, so I started to thinking “Why am I feeling like this? In a class where I already knew the professor and his ways of teaching. Plus, I have my best friends with me. What more do I want?” I couldn’t find an answer, so I tried to brush the feelings off. It wasn’t working, and as the days following I felt more and more depressed. By Thursday, I was about to wave my white flag in defeat.
I had to shake this feeling off, this wasn’t like me. I am usually the happy one who is ready to learn and achieve the best I can. So, I reached out to a friend, who told me to analyze everything in my life. I would go through every little aspect and see what changes I need to make.
1) School
The semester just started, and there is no need for me to stress out. All my classes and professors are good so far. I love that I will be challenge in most of my classes. So, school is not the reason I feel like this.
2) Home
At home, I get all the support and love from my family. My sisters greet me at the door each day with hugs and smiles. I feel happy at home. I know families aren’t perfect and mine is far from that but my worries are gone when I am at home. Home is not the problem.
3) Friends
I always get the most amazing friends ever. There are always there to support me, give me advice, and most of all, they never judge who I am. I have no fallouts with anyone, and we are always communicating with each other. Friendships aren’t the problem.
4) Workplace
I was happy to come back, but that slowly die on the first day. I felt like I didn’t belong here anymore. This made me feel so uncomfortable, nevertheless, I did all that was required of me to do. It didn’t feel right being there anymore.
5) Myself
For someone who always doubts herself, I felt like my demons were getting the best of me. They were making me feel like I wasn’t worth it anymore. It came to the point that I was doubting the career path I chose, it made me feel like all my hard work so far was for nothing.
As I went through each aspect, I realized what was making me unhappy. I made decisions that others will disagree with but I am doing it for my own sanity. As I made my decisions I felt free and like I was able to breathe again. I know others probably feel the same, and all I can say is to get rid of all the negativity that is around you.
If you ever feel like this, I want you to know that you are not alone. Others out there feel exactly how you do, just hang on. Don’t let this stop you from achieving the best you can, let it your motivation.
