Remember when you were five years old, and the biggest problem you ever faced was choosing the crayon to use in your coloring book? Or those times that you stayed up until 8 P.M., trying to catch the premiere of a Disney Channel Original movie before scolded you to go to bed?
I remember those times like they were yesterday. My memories of days are so vivid and clear. It really does feel like a lifetime ago.
I've been nostalgic for quite some time now. The first symptoms occurred somewhere around the time when I was a teenager, and I realized the world I was living in wasn't the same as it once was. Somewhere between the years that I grew up, my radiant childhood view of the world chipped away, piece by piece. Nothing appeared to be as bright anymore.
I remember asking my mom when I was younger, why wasn't she smiling? Why did she seem so upset?
"I'm okay," she would say to me. "I'm just tired."
In the mind of a child, there's a simple solution to that problem: Just go to sleep, and you'll feel better. Such an innocent thought that I now wish was true because being tired isn't just something to sleep off anymore. It's there when you wake up. It's there when you open your browser and see another school shooting on the front page. Another teen suicide resulting from bullying. The country, arguing left and right, divided straight down the center because no one wants to listen, and everyone just wants to fight.
I'm tired too.
When I look at children, it seems as though they never run out of energy supply. They smile at everyone. They skip and sing down grocery aisles without a care in the world of who's watching. It's as if they live in a different world, free from all of the awful things that plague our society. Sure they argue over things too, like which color looks best on a page, or which fairytale is their favorite.
And yet, after these arguments pass, they still play together on the same jungle gym and all is forgotten.
Eventually, these children have to grow up, and I was one of them. Back then, it used to be my number one wish.
Now, all I want is to go back.