I think it was by the fortune of proximity that you were always a part of my life. Soon after I was born my parents moved home and you and your wife entered my life at a very early stage. How could you not, you were 30 seconds away and your door was always open to me or to my brother or my sister after me. All three of us knew at the drop of a hat that we could go to your house. You even said one of your favorite memories when you were younger was seeing Holly bound up the yard, all excited to come visit you when she was a little girl. Sure the children in us complained when you asked any of us to help with yard work or house upkeep but we did it because we got to spend time with you or your wife. You always had a cheesy joke to tell to us three and oodles of stories about growing up and experiencing life in the navy or what have you. Conversation was rarely dull at your house, and if it was it was because we were watching a funny movie or an old western. You were always there to lend my parents a hand or word of advice when they needed it. What great memories with an individual that are ripped from us when we learn that individual is diagnosed with cancer.

When I first heard you had the monstrous "part of life" I was obviously shocked, here was a man I had known most of my life who have never once feared a mortal thing in his life (except his time in college, natch) brought down a peg or two by some awful thing. Over the years it became what I said, a part of life. "Went in for my PSA testing today." "Had another round of chemo today" "May not make it through this month." But you did make it through that month. You watched me graduate high school, and you even watched me graduate college for the first time, something that provides me a mixed bag of emotions because now you can't do the same for my brother or sister.

I may not have been able to get through my first fall semester without you. Coming over to talk because I was so stressed, we end up watching Have Gun Will Travel to take the edge off and you would tell me about your time in college. You were a rock, my rock. Five years ago I watched you at your brothers funeral solid as a rock. People were emotional and sad and you were solid. Something I'm scared I can't do now, tears literally falling down my face as I write this article. It's been literal hours since you died, but I miss you grandpa.

I know what you would be saying in a time like this "Stop crying Cleveland, this happens. Let's just enjoy our time together" No matter the reassurance I can't stop crying. I'm not mad and shouldn't be sad because you lived a long life, a good, happy, and long life with your wife, my grandmother, for so long, all of your children and the oodles of grandchildren you had. The true test of you being a great grandfather is that you loved talking to each and every one of those grandchildren whether it be myself, Holly or Cole, or the other many grandchildren you talked to.

By virtue of free will gramps I have two last moments with you in my mind. The first was me visiting home one day to eat with my parents, not having seen them in a long time. Running over to your house I remember the one of the things you said to me was if someone questioned why I would go into the military AFTER college look them in the eye and say "patriotism." After that I remember you saying you liked my most recent haircut and myself saying "Thanks Gramps, if you had hair I would like it too" followed by you laughing and me squeezing your hand and leaving. The second was just 3 hours before you died. You couldn't speak to me, you were asleep and I knew I couldn't wake you up. One last time I squeezed your hand and patted you on the shoulder gramps. I just hope you could feel me squeeze your hand one last time like you did to me so many times before.

Rest in Peace you old goober.