Everyone who has a pet of any kind does not want to think about the day that said pet will no longer be with them. The reality is that we all know that day will come, and we hope it is quick and painless for our pet. This is not the first time that I have lost a pet, and it will not be the last.
Due to the recent death of one of my dogs, I wanted to share a few ways that I have coped with the loss. If you too have lost a pet recently, I hope this article helps you or at least gives you ideas about how to move forward.
If You've Got To Cry, Then Cry.
The typical first reaction to the loss of a pet is to cry. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You have given so much time, love, and created so many memories with your beloved creature, that their loss is intense and gripping. Pets maintain a soft, vulnerable place in our hearts because they offer a type of companionship and love that you can't get anywhere else.
Even some of the toughest people cry when they lose a pet. Crying over the loss of a loved one is in no way shameful or bad. In "Return of the King," J.R.R. Tolkien says, "I will not say: I do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." Tolkien had been through war and lost all except one of his closest friends during that time and this quote firmly states that his masculinity was not tied to the act of mourning lost comrades.
Though the connection is different, pets are still our comrades as we battle through the day to day struggles of life; offering us company and comfort as we persevere.
Do not let anyone tell you that you shouldn't cry about the loss of a loved one. It is a part of the healing process for most people, and if you feel you need to then let it out.
Distractions Are OK.
It seems as though I get the worst news right before I'm about to go to work. I may not be able to get out of work either. In order to get through the day at work, I need a distraction. Of course, I will eventually deal with everything involved with the situation but I need to make it through work first. This last time I certainly had and needed some distraction time before work in order to make it through the day easier. Do what helps distract you the best: search Reddit for funny memes, color in a coloring book, watch a comedy movie, draw, read, write, go for a walk, just do something that you think will aid you.
To Talk Or Not To Talk About It.
Personally, I find talking through things helpful. Though there are times that talking about it only makes things more difficult. You do not have to make the situation harder for yourself by talking about it with everyone. Sure, tell your boss so that it's known that nothing work-related is the cause and then they can leave you be. Coworkers, on the other hand, do not necessarily need to know what is going on in your personal life and a lot of the time their additional attention makes it harder to get through the day. It's up to you and you do not have to feel bad about drawing a line for yourself.
Don't Forget Your Other Pets!
Many people have more than one pet at a time, and those other pets in the household know that something is wrong, or even mourn over the loss of their companion as well. One of the benefits of having a pet is being able to go to them for comfort. Even scaly or feathery pets are a great source of solace. They feel the loss and sadness too and may appreciate some extra attention.
Memorialize Your Passed Pal.
Once you've had a chance to acclimate, consider doing something to commemorate your pet. This could be as simple as looking through photos and selecting your favorite to frame and put on your desk or hang somewhere in your house. Shadow boxes are great for preserving pictures and objects, so perhaps you could keep their collar or favorite toy in a shadow box with their best pictures. If you feel up to it, you could have a painting of your pet commissioned, or get a tattoo to remember them by. There are so many options, that this section could go on and on. Think about your options for a while and you'll know what option is the best medium for your pet's memorial.
The repeats of "I'm sorry" and "It will be okay" only help so much. Though we do appreciate the kind words and the attempts to make us feel better after suffering such a loss, sometimes we prefer to be left alone. It's not against those who try to help, it's simply us needing time to process and persevere. These have all been ways I've been able to cope with the loss of my own pets and I hope you may benefit from them as well. Your beloved pet may be gone, but they do not have to be forgotten.
