Losing “The One” Can Actually Be Good For You
Start writing a post
Relationships

Losing “The One” Can Actually Be Good For You

Losing the “love of your life” makes room for so much more love in your life.

371
Losing “The One” Can Actually Be Good For You
Pexels

I don't understand how our fingertips slid from the grasp that once seemed so tight. I will never comprehend how love feels through someone else's eyes. How our hearts with such heavy burdens can find room to hold another. "Time heals all wounds" is the cliche motivator that keeps me alive. That keeps me sane.

As if the hands of a clock can sew up my broken heart or bandage my battle scars. I know pain like I know myself, familiar but still unrecognizable to the outside. I'll search for answers in broken memories. I'll dig up the past from within my head in the hopes of finding something I didn't see before.

A reason, an explanation, a road map to where everything went wrong. Show me where we fell apart. My tears will shatter on broken glass frames that hold our pictures from when we were in love. The salt in my wounds will pour through my veins until there's nothing left but bones.

I wonder all the time if you're hurting like I am. If you feel it too. But how idiotic of me to wonder when you don't care at all. You're sleeping soundly in your bed next to the girl you said had your heart in the end. So why am I pondering what ifs? Why am I still constantly drowning myself with thoughts of what we could have been? Why can I not take control of my own life?

Sometimes, I think about you.

It's been a little over a year, maybe.

The wounds have turned to scars. The thoughts of you have faded but are still there. You show up in my dreams. Seeing you everywhere I turn became a living nightmare. Everything isn't always as it seems. I’m constantly struggling to burrow out of my own head. When I thought our hearts only had room to love each other, I was wrong.

With time, through the cracks in my heart that you left, you leaked out. You made room for so much more than I ever thought possible. I have hobbies and motivations. I have positivity and life. What I once thought I'd never feel again — I gained through losing you.

Finally, I think I can live with how we ended. Without answers. Without explanations and road maps. I can live knowing I gained so much more without you — than I ever have with you.

How do you define “good enough?” So simple yet completely complicated. I think we spend too much time trying to evaluate ourselves from someone else’s view. Constantly struggling with whether or not you’re satisfying your partner’s needs or wants. Always being told that something can be done better can instill that mindset into someone.

No matter how hard we try, no matter what we say or do, nothing ever feels quite “good enough” for anyone else. I think that’s a common misconception for most of us these days. Maybe we should try a little less to be “good enough” for everyone else and start being “good enough” for ourselves.

No one deserves your best more than your own well-being. Your own soul. Your own conscious mind. Because after that’s achieved, then maybe we can be “good enough” for another human being.

I’ll never understand feelings and how they work. How someone can claim to love another, but still feel the want of being tongue-tied with a completely different person. Love is uncontrollable — it can happen fast or be watered through time; it can be a hurricane of disastrous landslides; or it can blossom into something beautiful, like a 7-year-old pine.

A relationship develops like a forest of trees, like the ones I’ve captured in long-ago photographs. They take time to grow. They need water and sunlight and nutrients. They need years to prosper. A relationship needs time to develop; to grow, it needs communication and honesty. It needs healthy motivations and disagreements.

Don’t forget about the storms, though. Even trees need to learn to be strong during the darkness of the rain and the rage of the thunder and the strikes of the lightning. Even trees go through challenges, and sometimes, many of those trees in the forest will fall. Relationships go through their own storms; they’ll be tested over and over, like the forest and the trees. Not all of them will make it.

Those relationships that fail are those that did not grow strong enough, for whatever reason. There will be storms that will test the boundaries of our own desires. There will be storms that test the distance our hearts are willing to go before being set on fire. I’ve never known lust to be a bad thing, but it’s how we respond to our lustful distractions that could send our trees up in smoke.

Thoughtful moments of considering the consequences are what could save us in the end. Love doesn’t have to be meant for one person — it can be dispersed among the forest. However, renewed love can’t mend what’s already been broken.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

74242
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

135071
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments