Oh, senior spring. A time full of more unwanted panic attacks, reminders of graduation, and looming fear that will just not quit. You're trying your hardest to avoid the all too fast approaching graduation date, while enjoying every last second you have in the bubble that was the last four years. In the midst of all that, is the job search, grad school applications, and just plain trying to get your shit together, which I'm all but convinced is impossible. As you pore over your resume, and your lack of experience for virtually every single job you've applied for, you begin to wonder what exactly you've done for the past four years, and how you've acquired essentially zero marketable skills. Well, I am here to say you've done a lot more than you think, and if we were all honest on our resumes about what we've done over the last four years, they'd read a little something like this.
1. Successfully snooze/sleep through alarms/classes/all responsibilities
2. Prioritizes getting coffee over getting to class on time
3. Advanced multi-tasking: online shopping while watching Netflix with the subtitles while sitting in class
4. Ability to finish all seven seasons of Shameless in under a month*
(*also all 10 seasons of Friends over winter break-- talk about SKILLS)
5. Experienced pregame playlist creator
6. Experienced road trip playlist creator
7. Experienced playlist creator
8. Ability to make a meal out of random (expired?) foods in fridge
9. Ability to fit 30+ beers in a mini fridge
(The ORGANIZATION people!)
10. Can function on minimal sleep
11. Can function with massive hangover
12. Can exist solely off of caffeine, French fries, and chocolate for extended periods of time
13. Ability to sleep until 3 PM
14. Ability to do nothing at all on a Sunday but scroll social media, until 9 PM when you remember all of your responsibilities
15. Prioritizes work for one class by skipping another class
16. Prioritizes just about anything else by skipping class
17. Exceptional creativity with Instagram captions
18. Experienced in posting funny/relatable Tweets
19. Ability to capture the best moments via Snapchat story
20. Ability to always make it back home after a night out
(PHENOMENAL (drunk) directional skills!)
21. Overestimates how much alcohol is too much
(Since when is confidence a bad thing?)
22. Calculated just how long it takes pizza to be delivered at any time of day
23. Mastered the exact number of minutes it takes to get ready in the morning-- leaving no room for error
24. Can successfully drink oneself a sweater
(20 degrees? NBD.)
25. Ability to memorize five chapters of anything and promptly forget it in less than 24 hours
26. Ability to ignore growing laundry pile
27. Experienced in spending money on things you absolutely don't need
28. Motivated by the prospect of anything free
29. Can successfully avoid any and every potentially awkward encounter
30. Professional college student
Because that's a skill, right?
