Trauma is something you can never tell someone to get over it, in fact thats the worse thing you can tell someone who is dealing with trauma. I came up with some things that I’ve personally done in my own life or learned from other people or my psych classes. Hope it helps! 

Stay strong

Now when I say stay strong I don’t mean physically but mentally strong. Not for your mom, not your friend, not your boyfriend/girlfriend, but for yourself. Being strong doesn't mean you never cry about the situation, it’s about letting yourself have the emotion but not letting yourself get to that point more than once. You live through the pain and learn from it no matter how painful it might have been there is always hope for a brighter future.

Speak up

Whatever it is that you are traumatized by, speak about it! It sounds cliche the whole, if you talk about it you'll feel so much better but it’s so true. When you speak up about something so deep and emotional it helps you put things into perspective and realize that even though that happened to you you are still going forward in life. Knowing it is your reality and going forward with your life in a positive way is the best feeling to look back on so speak and who knows you might be helping out someone else that is dealing with it as well. 

Love yourself

Truly love yourself the way YOU want to be without thinking about what others think about you. This sounds so simple but it is actually the hardest thing to do especially in the society we live in now with so many expectations. Learn to love not only the good but also your imperfections. Putting yourself before others is also another way of knowing you love yourself. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes especially if you know that it can better you in the long run not to hang out with certain people anymore or just saying you are better than that and putting yourself before the situation. When you can look at yourself and not care about what others might think of you and have more good to say about yourself than bad, then that’s when you have finally loved yourself. You are who YOU think you are, you are not what OTHERS say you are. Don’t be scared to be different in this world, thats what we‘re meant to be.

Surround yourself only with positive people

As you get older you’re going to notice the people you are surrounded by are different every other year and that is not a bad thing. When you learn to love yourself you start to realize that you don’t need those friends or family members or even a relationship that make you feel bad about yourself, negative all the time or the people that love to belittle you as if you can’t do what you want to do in life. You DON’T have to stay around people because they are family or because you have the same friend group. It’s your life so you can choose who is in your life consistently and if they feel some type of way about it then that just shows you why you chose to not have them in your life in the first place. Being around people that have the same mindset and goals in life as you is the best feeling. Don’t get me wrong it’s okay to have differences but make sure that they are supportive in whatever you put your mind to and don't make you feel like you are a bother to them when it comes to talking to them about how you feel or anything in general. Look for people who look for you. 

Keep yourself busy

Make sure to keep yourself busy from having a job, to volunteering or playing a sport always make sure to fill your free time. Being busy will keep your mind from thinking about the trauma you went through. It can be as small as going for a walk around the block or staying extra at work, going to the gym, painting, etc Just make sure you are not staying at home all the time alone because that is usually when all the overthinking starts and can make you think back into the situation you are trying to forget about. 

See a therapist

Talking to someone that is a complete stranger is actually more helpful than one might think. You have no type of connection with them so you don’t feel bad if they hear about what you have gone through because it will never personally affect their life knowing what you are dealing with. Talking to close friends and family can be helpful but there’s a point where you can’t tell them certain things because you don’t want them to feel bad for you or you just feel like you talk about it all the time. WIth a therapist not only are they there to listen to you, they can help you cope with the trauma and give you suggestions with things in your life that have been proven to help. It doesn’t hurt to try it out, and no you don’t have issues if you see one it’s actually more common than you think. 

Find what you are passionate about

The headline is self explanatory..if being an artist is what you’re passionate about go do it! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise even if you’re not good at it, you can get better. Your passion can be in anything it can be in collecting things, cooking, science, writing, media, and so many more. If you can’t figure out what that is just think about what makes you happy or puts you at ease or that excites you in any way that’s your passion. Go find that passion and maybe you can do great things with it

Set Goals

At school when they say it’s good to set goals they were not lying. Setting goals makes you focus on the important things in your life rather than getting stressed out of all the unnecessary. They don’t have to be big goals, it can be as little as spend time with your mom or finish a book you started to read. I think of them as missions and when you complete them they make you feel good about yourself even in the smallest way. And once you reached a goal make sure to make more, don’t be content with staying in one place in your life always strive for more. 

Get Rid of Bad Habits

These are tough to get rid of but it’s possible. You're human so you are going to have bad habits but don’t let it take over your life. Such as alcohol or any substances, if not handled correctly they can have a huge impact on your life and even end your life so don’t use these to cope with anything especially a trauma. Alcohol or even Weed can bring back those traumas. Alcohol can make you really upset about the situation or angry and not in a healthy way. With weed it can make you really paranoid to the point where you let it consume you and freak yourself out. If you have friends that do the bad habits you want to get rid of you either tell them and hopefully they respect it or if they don’t then you can decide to remove yourself from that type of atmosphere.

Grow Grow Grow

No matter what the trauma is remember to grow from it. Don’t ever let it control your outcome in life. The trauma you had to deal with does not define you at all, you define who you are. Every day that you are alive realize that you are blessed to be alive and strive to become a better you everyday, because at the of the day no one can live your life for you or tell you how to feel about certain things. Just remember Every Flower must Grow through Dirt. 

If you would like to talk about anything or have any comments about my post feel free to email me at arielysb.rosario@gmail.com!