I can remember the days of our childhood we spent together. There wasn’t one summer day that didn’t involve swimming, biking, or playing outside until the sun set. We spent countless nights together giggling until the break of dawn. It was a simpler time, when it didn't matter who your friends were, because everyone was included. No one was viewed better or worse than others because life hadn't taught us to think in that way yet.
You were my childhood best friend. If you would have asked us at that age, I’m sure neither one of us could have imagined a future without each other.
Once the season changed to fall and middle school began, we started to drift apart. The obvious differences in our personalities finally started to manifest. While I stuck with my other childhood friends and slowly added a few new ones along the way, your outgoing nature attracted others and helped you to make lots of new friends.
Sure, we saw each other occasionally on the weekends, but after that, it was never quite the same. I remember spending a lot of time feeling hurt and replaced. Why had you moved on to other people? Why wasn’t I good enough to be your best friend anymore?
For a short time period, I even tried to fit myself into your friend group. It never felt right to me, not because they weren't inviting or happy to be my friend, but because I struggled to relate to a group of people who were so different than me. They were all very outgoing and with my shy and introverted demeanor, it was difficult for me to break into such a tightly-knit group. They were very athletic people, and then there was me, who could hardly get through gym class without making a fool of myself in some way. You also talked to boys, the scariest creatures to awkward 13-year old girls, and admittedly, 19-year old ones too, sometimes.
Needless to say, I didn't really fit in. I was trying to fit myself, a square peg, into a round hole.
Eventually, I started spending all my time with my other friends, who are still my best friends to this day. And as for my childhood best friend and I, we stopped spending time together. It was never done with malicious or purposeful intent. We simply grew in different directions from each other. It took me a very long time to accept this idea. Maybe we were just meant to spend our younger years together and nothing more.
I've now learned to adopt this mentality. Maybe the people who are the closest to us now won't be in the future, but that's okay. You can try your hardest to keep someone around, but sometimes the most you can do is cherish the memories you've made and thank them for helping you grow as a person.
To this day, I still wish the best for my childhood best friend. I hope college and her relationships are treating her well because she deserves all the happiness in the world. It still makes me happy to see her pictures on social media and each year we are still sure to wish each other happy birthdays on our Facebook walls. Even though I left the picture years ago, I still hope it is a beautiful one.
