A Letter to TSM/TFM from an Actual Member of Greek Life

A Letter to TSM/TFM from an Actual Member of Greek Life

We are so much more than a stereotype.

Dear Total Sorority Move/Total Fraternity Move,

Let me start off by saying I am/have been a big fan. I follow all of your social media accounts. I like your pictures, read your articles; I genuinely find your content humorous and entertaining. I look at certain pictures and articles, promoting various negative stereotypes of Greeks and Greek Life, and I try take them with a grain of salt. Because I know - deep, deep down - that it is meant to entertain your vast following, most of whom is a member of the Greek communities that you are targeting.

I understand how social media works. You do what is deemed "popular," and what will get you the most follows, likes, and page views, regardless of whether you actually agree with the content you put out or not (though most times I would think you'd have to agree with your content). But I cannot "follow" or "like" these unhealthy and unfair stereotypical representations of both Greek women and Greek men. I cannot speak on behalf everyone in the Greek community, but I can speak for myself. I don't think it's fair that we already are represented as crazy, selfish, irresponsible, sex-crazed, pledge-hazing, binge drinking, over-grown children by the rest of the mainstream media, and we still have to put up with the misrepresentation by sites that claim to be by us and for us.

We are more than a stereotype. We hold ourselves to higher standards. These hands do not haze. We don't sleep late and miss class because we are careless. We don't get blackout drunk because we think that's what Greeks do in college. Not only do articles and posts about these 'assumed ideals of Greeks' hurt us, but they hurt us when we try to recruit new members. Many PNM's (Potential New Members) don't have any idea what Greek life is really about, or if they do have an idea, it's based on what they've seen on television, what they've heard from older siblings or friends, or in this case, what they've learned from sites like yours. Some of these values and ideals your sites are promoting are not at all what real-life fraternities and sororities stand for, and they could very well get the wrong impression.

If you're promoting anything through your written pieces or your social media posts, it should be this:

Young Greek women are so much more than revealing clothing and skinny waists. They have feelings and minds of their own . They want more than to be a fraternity's sweetheart. They do not pick girls based on looks; they pick based on character and how a young woman carries herself. They want to support and love their sisters because that's why they joined. To forever have a group of women with the same goals and values who will always pick them up when they fall. Their beauty and passion cannot be summed up in an Instagram picture.

Young Greek men are so much more than shot-gunned beers and one-night-stands. They are not all about hooking up with girls and getting blackout drunk on the weekends. They have respect for their brothers and show it. They have respect for their philanthropy as well as their community and show it. They are more than a Rolling Stones article would portray them.

We may not all be perfect all the time, but we are so much more than how we are portrayed. I would love, just once, for someone to get it right.

An Actual Member of the Greek Community

Cover Image Credit: Total Sorority Move Instagram

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!


What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

Price: $8.49

2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

Price: $10.98

3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

Price: $28.46

5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

Price: $12.00

6. Condom case

This condom carrying case will not only protect condoms from damage but also make frat boys more inclined to practice safe sex, which is a win-win situation!

Price: $9.99

7. Frat house candle

Ahhh yes, who does not like the smell of stale beer in a dark, musty frat house basement? Frat boys can make their apartment or bedroom back home smell like their favorite place with the help of this candle.

Price: $16.99

8. "Frat" sticker

Frat boys always need to make sure everyone around them knows just how "fratty" they are. This versatile stick can go on a laptop, car, water bottle, or practically anywhere their little hearts desire.

Price: $6.50

9. Natty Light t-shirt 

Even I will admit that this shirt is pretty cool. The frat boy in your life will wear this shirt at every possible moment, it is just that cool!

Price: $38.76-$41.11

10. Natty light fanny pack 

This fanny pack can absolutely be rocked by any frat boy. The built-in koozie adds a nice touch.

Price: $21.85

11. Bud Light Neon Beer Sign 

A neon beer sign will be the perfect addition to any frat boys bedroom.

Price: $79.99

12. Beer Opener

Although most frat boys' go to beers come in cans, this bottle opener will be useful for those special occasions when they buy nicer bottled beers.

Price: $7.99

13. Frat House Dr. Sign

Price: $13.99

Forget stealing random street signs, with this gift frat boys no longer have to do so.

14. Beer Lights 

Lights are an essential for any party and these will surely light up even the lamest parties.

Price: $17.19

Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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So You're Thinking Of Rushing A Sorority?

I asked for one sister, and ended up with 200.


It almost seems like it was yesterday when I was a confused and nervous freshman going through the sorority recruitment process. Before I went through recruitment, I had no idea what Greek Life consisted of, or if I was willing to try it. All I knew was that a good majority of people at my school were involved because I would always see older students wearing different letters on shirts, sweatshirts, hats, and bags and didn't know what any of them stood for.

But if you're a freshman reading this and you're considering rushing, my advice is that you 100% do it.

It's okay if you're unsure about the process like I was because that's how everyone else feels at first. When I first got to college, I wasn't even sure if I could see myself fitting into a sorority. I didn't peg myself as the typical sorority girl that's always seen on TV or in movies, and I didn't know if I was willing to go through an entire process to pretend to be someone that I wasn't. But once recruitment came around, I decided to put myself out there and sign up, because I wanted to try something different that was outside of my comfort zone.

Little did I know that this would change everything for me.

Rush was long, tiring, and probably one of the most confusing two weeks of my life. I had met so many girls in different houses, and I was constantly on edge whenever I was waiting to hear back on which houses I had gotten called back to go to for each round. Throughout rush, I kept telling myself to just trust the process and that everything happens for a reason, which is probably the most important advice for any PNM.

In the end, I was lucky enough to receive a bid to a house that I could not be any more happier in. I found a house where there was no exact replica of the same person, and I felt like I could truly be myself. Whenever I was walking to classes, I now knew 200 new faces and felt that the campus didn't seem as big and scary as it used to be during my first semester of freshman year.

Just from rushing and joining a sorority, I have been able to meet so many incredible, strong, diverse women who have changed my life. I've met girls who have gone through similar struggles I've been through, and they've helped and healed me on how to keep moving forward. I've met girls who are an inspiration to me with all of the work that they've put forth both inside and outside of our sorority, and who make me want to accomplish more. I've met girls who I can laugh with about the craziest, tiniest things, and who I can also go to if I feel like I'm at my breaking point. I've met girls who are always down to go out to get dinner, or even go on a late night Wegmans run. I've met girls who are open and accept me for who I am, and who are supportive of everything that I do.

I've also been able to become more involved on campus through my sorority, which is something I extremely value. From philanthropy events to community service, I've learned how much impact one person has on the world and how much good that person can truly do. I've also gained more perspective and respect for my sisters whenever we all go to support them at an outside sorority event they're participating in because I get to see a new and different part of the community, as well as witness all of their own hard work I hadn't known about before.

It's almost been one year since I decided to rush, and I'm so thankful that I went Greek. If you're on the fence of rushing, I strongly recommend that you do it, because it will change your life. It might seem confusing and stressful at first, but don't worry, because that's how it's supposed to feel. In the end, everything will all make sense, and you 100% will not regret deciding to go through recruitment.

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