Dear boy in the community pool who called me fat twelve years ago,

I never got the chance to know your name and you had no idea who I was. I knew who I was, though. I was an insecure little girl who was always called names in school. You were just a little boy and I'm sure you had no idea what you were really doing, but that day had very long lasting effects for me.

First I need you to understand that the comment you made enabled me to remember every detail from that day because it was so hurtful. I remember that I was in fourth grade, weighed around 120 pounds, and I was wearing a royal blue one-piece bathing suit. As if it wasn't damaging enough that every other kid I played with on the playground or at the pool was smaller than me, you decided to fat shame me.

Fat shaming is literally what it sounds like; making people feel ashamed for having any fat on their bodies. Whether they are obese, overweight, skinny, healthy, fit, ANYTHING. Fat shaming will take place. It makes people feel unworthy and looked down upon. Fat shaming towards me personally started at a young age and lasted until others around me noticed my eating disorder because any ounce of fat started melting off of me until I was unhealthy, but not the way you remember me as. Did you know that so many healthy kids today are developing eating disorders because they aren't stick-skinny? Children today are even more susceptible to them than nine year old me was. You were the last straw and I was determined to never be called that again. Maybe you thought little of it or maybe you knew it would hurt. It did.

I hope that you have learned throughout time that making fun of someone else's weight is not alright. It has damaging results that can last a life time. Even today I'm scared of what people will call me. But I don't act on it because I know better and I love my body. I no longer have an eating disorder and beat it! I wonder if you would apologize or if you would still try to put me down though because I know that sometimes people don't change. I, however, learned a lot and am not the same determined-to-be-stick-thin girl who I was that you helped turn me into. I'm proud of how far I've come. I'm healthy and happy with curves and cellulite and stretch marks. I'm a woman.

Now, if you should have a daughter or a son who comes home crying because a little boy at the pool called them fat and made fun of them, embrace them until they're done crying and make sure you tell them how beautiful they are. Make sure you tell them how lucky they are to be an amazing child and have this life they've been given. Make sure to help them find healthier options but don't trust that they won't take it "too far". My parents were so supportive and I had an eating disorder behind their back, they had no idea. Nowadays it's too easy to develop one. It's in the media, it's in the comments Megan Trainer says about eating disorders and how she gives those who have it props for being brave enough to go through with it. It's in triggers like learning about it in health class and movies or coming across "thinspo/ thinspiration" on the computer. IT'S. EVERYWHERE.

Although it is my fault for putting myself through the act, I wish you hadn't said that to me that day. But because I did go through it and you (and so many other kids) called me fat, I'm now pursuing a psychology degree to help future patients with eating disorders recover. Because of you, I speak out at schools to educate children about ways to steer clear from ED's. I raise money towards ANAD with my sorority and basically live to promote positive body image at my college! I am making a big difference and I thought you should know.

If you or someone you know has an Eating Disorder and needs help of guidance towards recovery, please visit:

National Eating Disorders Association
Call Our Helpline: 800-931-2237

NEDA supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care.