A Letter To Myself At 20
Start writing a post

A Letter To Myself At 20

You've made it this far, and boy has it been a ride.

A Letter To Myself At 20

I can't believe it's already been 20 years. Or that it's only been 20 years. Or maybe I just can't believe the unimaginable amount of life that you've experienced, and the amount of socks you've managed to lose, in the last two decades of your existence.

For you, the first part was easy. You learned to walk and talk, go to school and ride a bike. You started a sport (and then you tried four more), you learned to drive (sort of), and somewhere between jumping on the trampoline and running to your 8:00am lecture -- you grew up.

So, here's to the ups, downs, sideways and backwards of the past 20 years.

You got your first job, and then your second and third and fourth and fifth. You collapsed with exhaustion after a 70-hour week, made friends that only a shared hatred of your job could make, and learned how a smile and an "Ok, great!" can hide the fact that you're secretly imagining dart throwing at a customer's head.

You went to college and tried to follow someone else's dreams, felt yourself get swept up in assumptions of what you were supposed to do next, and felt like a complete failure when you couldn't match up. You began to understand that following your passions didn't mean you were giving up, and that being smart didn't always just mean being a doctor.

You made your first dinner and ate on the floor in front of a T.V. that didn't work -- whispered to yourself, "These are the best years of your life!" as you poured milk into a wine glass. That night, you slept on a friend's sofa after locking yourself out of your apartment. Hats off to you for those superb adulting skills.

You laid in your driveway with tears rolling down your face to splash against the concrete as if to give the moonlight pools to reflect in.

You drove alone through mountains at sunrise, watched golden light filter through falling leaves and decided no one, not even the man on the moon, could make you feel worthless.

You swore up-and-down that this, this last thrift-shopping spree, would be the one that unlocked the creative genius in you; unlock the master that could take a beer-stained wife-beater and spin it into your own replica of Bella Hadid's street style. You gave yourself a pat on the back every time you saw it in your closet, imagined the great outfits you would pair it with, and wore it to bed for two years straight.

You learned how to stay up late and make coffee early; you spent nights in the library with your friends and laid in circles on the floor, breathless with laughter, after boiling the water out of the pot trying to make mac n cheese. You found family in strangers and made futons home, and learned a love only youth could know.

You've felt like you could take on the world and then took a breath just to feel the world tightening around your throat. You've watched people around you who seem to have their whole life planned out and wondered where you went wrong. Two days later, you've felt like a puzzle with the last piece in check -- like no one and nothing could bring you down.

You've felt alone, confused, overwhelmed, anxious and lost. You've felt powerful, loved, enchanted, excited, ambitious and grateful. It has a been a ride unlike anything you could ever imagine, and you've barely even left the gate.

So, this is to you. This is to every moment you doubted yourself, and to every moment you'll wonder what the hell you're doing. This is to remind you to say "Why not?", to never let anyone make you feel less, to make the most for the memories, and to hold on to those memories with all your might. This is to tell you that you don't have to know where you're going to know how far you'll go.

This is to you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

7 Things Your Partner Can Do To Support You When You Have PCOS

Don't be afraid to ask for help or comfort if you need it.


Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) may not be totally visible to the eye, which makes it a lot harder for your partner to understand what's going on with your body.

If you are in a relationship, it's important that you communicate your PCOS symptoms with your partner. I say "your" symptoms specifically because everyone's symptoms are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Watched 'The Social Dilemma' And YIKES, I'm Terrified For The Next Generation's Mental Health

Millennials can remember a time without online social affirmation, but we may be the last ones.

The Social Dilemma / Netflix

I've been in a media job for the entirety of my professional career. From part-time social media internships to full-time editorial work, I've continued to learn how to tell stories, write catchy headlines, and keep people interested. I believe working in media is a big responsibility, as well as a valuable way to advance our world.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

One Indictment, Three Charges, And No Justice For Breonna Taylor

We can't settle for this decision or a system that is fundamentally broken and unequal.


On March 13, 26-year-old Breonna Taylor was fatally shot in her apartment by police who were executing a "no-knock" warrant. Since then, there have been rallying efforts both in the streets and on social media demanding justice for Taylor and keeping her name known.

Keep Reading... Show less

Nothing! There is no reason to feel guilty about food and nourishing your body. It's time to make peace with food and stop focusing on the "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong" because food does not have power over you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down With An Endocrinologist To Ask All My Questions About Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

There are so many moving parts of hormonal health, so I went to an expert.

Anjanette Tan

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is an autoimmune disease that impacts approximately 1 in 10 women. Any woman who has PCOS can attest to the fact that no two cases are the same — there are so many aspects of hormonal health that can impact a woman's reproductive health! For many, PCOS is a trial and error condition, with many doctors' appointments depending on the stage of life the woman is in.

This week I sat down with Dr. Anjanette Tan to get the expert opinion on all my PCOS questions. Dr. Tan is a board-certified endocrinologist who's worked in private practices since 2004. She currently works at the Diabetes and Thyroid Center of Fort Worth, one of the largest all-endocrine practices in the area, where she is the managing partner and head of clinical research.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Since I can remember, I've always been a light sleeper, with the quietest sounds waking me up, and I regularly wake up with the sun.

- While talking to a gynecologist friend of mine, she mentioned the importance of using an eye mask for quality sleep, which regulates hormonal levels.

- I was serendipitously sent the Crane & Canopy Silk Sleep Mask almost right after that conversation and was honestly reluctant to try it after testing other sleep masks that felt uncomfortable and irritated my skin.

- This sleep mask was extremely comfortable, and for the first time in nearly a decade, I slept in far past when I usually do on the weekends and woke up feeling more refreshed than I can remember — I've worn it nearly every night since then.

The older I get, it seems that sleep becomes an increasingly important topic of conversation amongst my friends and me. Yes, of course we complain about how tired we always are, but the pattern seemed to be a lack of sleep on the weekdays followed by late nights and sleeping in on the weekends without any solution.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Self-Care Kit Every College Student Should Have Handy In 2020

Make sure you have everything you need to relieve some tension.


As college students, sometimes life can be overwhelming. Four tests in a week and you only passed one of them? I feel that. Days like that, you just need time for yourself. A time where you're nice to yourself and put your own self-care before anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Smile Project Just Launched An Ambassador Program, And I Can't Wait To Get Started

Looking to shift your perspective, be happier, or just get involved in something truly amazing? Look no further.


The Smile Project is a nonprofit organization devoted to spreading happiness, founded by Elizabeth Buechele. It all started on a random day in the fall of her senior year. She was driving home from school when this thought crossed her mind: "Day 1: Happiness is…those perfect car rides where the radio just plays all the right songs."

Keep Reading... Show less

I'll never forget the day that someone told me these words: "Madison, I think you're a good friend to everyone but yourself." I stood there completely in awe of that statement. Before that day, I never really thought about being a friend to myself, and at the time, I didn't really know what it meant. Now, I realize that you can't fully be there for other people unless you're there for yourself, too. You can't show up for others until you're willing to show up for yourself.

Here are five things everyone should learn in order to be a better friend to themselves. These steps are hard, but they're so worth it.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's no secret that social media can be harmful to our mental health. The barrage of heavily edited photos of Instagram models that we see every day only fuels our insecurities. There is a good side to social media, though. It allows us to keep up with friends and family across the globe. Plus, it provides a platform for mental health experts. Listed below are five therapists on Instagram who will fill your feed with motivational quotes and positive infographics.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments