Dear Cottage Grove,
The funny thing about leaving you behind to start my own life as an adult is that I never thought I would miss you. Growing up there I remember counting down the days until I got to leave you. Now, I'm counting the days until I get to come home. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy here in Boise, but that doesn't mean I don't miss home. I think about you every day, wondering how cold it is there and feeling sorry that you aren't enjoying the same sunshine that I am. I think of the friends you brought into my life and how much they mean to me, even if we don't talk very much anymore. It's strange not knowing my neighbors.
At home, our neighborhood was like a family to me while I was growing up. I spent the first 18 years of my life in that small house right off of 80th street. Somedays I get in my car and want to drive 25 hours home just so I can drive down that street again. I'd drive past the cul-de-sac where we got in trouble for painting a four square game in. I would drive around the front and back loops that seemed like a very long bike ride when I first learned how to ride without training wheels. Of course, I would go to Caribou Coffee, we don't have that out here and that's too bad. I lost count of how many hours I spent after school doing homework with my friends in that small coffee shop.
I hate saying this but it's weird to be home. It's as if the more time I spend away the less it feels like home. I almost feel like an outsider when I come back. I know that I'm not and that If I needed to move back I'd be welcomed with open arms, but it feels different when I'm there. I guess that's just what happens when you move away. It's hard to see people moving on and living their lives without me but I have to remind myself that I was the one who left it all behind for a new beginning. I'm still working on that new beginning. Making friends is hard, I think about my friends back home every day. They look like they're happy and that makes me very happy to see. No one prepared me for how bad homesickness will hurt. Some days all I think about is giving up on it all and moving home. It's hard enough moving away from home but for me, home is 1,152 miles away and it feels like that for some days.
Cottage Grove, I miss you. I miss the people and the places. I miss home. But I'm happy here, at least I'm trying to be. I still love my school and I've met some fantastic people here. I have a solid job and am constantly busy with school, work, and friends. As much as I wish I could come home somedays I'm happy with my decision. Maybe I'll have to live in Boise for 18 years for it to feel like home to me but I'm okay with doing that. I wish I could merge you with Boise but that's just not how it works. For now, I'm wishing you the best. You will always be the first place I called home and you will always hold a special place in my heart. I'm sorry I didn't recognize that while I lived there.
Until next time Cottage Grove,
Reagan Kulka
