To My Ex Who Taught Me What Love Is Not
Start writing a post

To The Ex Who Broke Me, You Led Me To A Fiance Who Healed Me, And For That I'm Grateful

It was really just lust, and I see that now.

To The Ex Who Broke Me, You Led Me To A Fiance Who Healed Me, And For That I'm Grateful

Dear You,

To be quite frank with you, it's taken me a long time to realize and understand that I am at no fault for what went wrong in our "relationship." I'd hardly call it that, though.

I'm not afraid to call you out anymore, so here it is.

You were selfish. So incredibly selfish. Any argument that came up, you made it seem as if it was my fault. I wish I could tell you how many times I sat in my room and cried wondering why I wasn't good enough for you to fight for me, for us. It had nothing to do with us being together — you were just a horrible friend and an even worse boyfriend.

I'll never forget the time I had to put my dog down. The dog that had been in my family for over twelve years, and you called me selfish for worrying and crying over my dog because you had been in a minor car accident the same day. As if I was supposed to know that because you had ghosted me the week prior for calling you out on trying to hook up with the girl who "just wanted a label" even though you "didn't care about her"... Strange how she was the one you got in a car accident with, huh? But that's none of my business...

Or maybe how you'd still write about how you wonder if it could've worked out between us almost a year after breaking up, even though you knew I was happy without you. Or writing songs about our "love," or at least, the love you thought we had.

It was really just lust, and I see that now. I just wanted to help you and change you. I get that now.

The list really could go on and on about all the ways you treated me poorly, like accusing me of cheating on you with your best friend (who I am STILL friends with to this day, unlike you) or you trying to turn me against my friends because they didn't like you while you were flirting and hooking up with my other "friend." Kind of weird how that all works, but I'd rather talk about all the positives that came out of this.

In the time since we broke up, it took me a very long time to get back to a place where I was trusting and felt I was worthy of being loved. But luckily I did. I took the time to deeply reflect on who I was and who I wanted to be. I was sick and tired of letting my past control me and how I felt about myself.

I wasn't the toxic one, you were.

Now I'm happily engaged to the man of my dreams. He helped pick up the pieces you left behind, and I could never thank him enough. He shows me unconditional love every single day without fail and doesn't threaten to leave me. We have both been hurt before, but now we are stronger than ever. He's shown me what a healthy relationship really is and how love can truly heal our deepest wounds. I can't wait to start my life with him and see where it goes.

So, thank you. Thank you for hurting me so I could fall into the arms of the man who helped heal me. I wouldn't know true love if I didn't know what it was NOT.

Thank you for showing me exactly what I don't want.



Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content

To My Fellow Girls With Resting B**** Face

A letter to my friends with RBF about understanding your own face and helping others deal with it.

Jupe du Jour

To the girl with resting b**** face:

Keep Reading... Show less

The Boyfriends Of The 2000s

Thank you, J14, for the Posters

J14 magazine

Every girl remembers her first crush. Even if your first crush was the boy in your kindergarten class that ate crayons, your first true love will always be the one that holds the key to your heart. Growing up in the 2000s, everyone knew who your dream guy was. Your family probably still give you grief and your best friends probably still reminisce, so it is impossible to forget your first celebrity crush. You bought a Tiger Beat magazine every chance you could just to read up about what your favorite celebrity was doing. Your room was fully decorated with posters of them, and it wasn't unusual to have fights with your best friends over who was going to marry him. If you were a 90's baby, lucky you because the 2000s were full of boys that were easy to love. I hope you enjoy a walk down memory lane and quickly realize that Bieber was definitely not the first guy with that hair cut. Here are 15 90's baby's first boyfriends.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

20 Things I Learned By The Start of My 20s

No one expects you to have your life together by the time you're 20, because honestly, they didn't either.

Allyson Foutty

We are all often faced with many life challenges throughout the time leading up to our 20s. Before this time, and throughout it, we often look back at the things we've learned and how they've influenced who we are as people today. Some of my biggest influences were some of the challenges I've faced, but they've taught me 20 important things by the start of my 20s.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Boyfriend Recipe

The ingredients to build a relationship are a little more complicated than just a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy.


Relationships. Long distance or not, significant others are much more than just that. I would be lying if I said I did not love the sweet gestures that only a boyfriend can give. The flowers, funny phone calls, hand holding, breakfast dates, and tight hugs are special but my relationship and many others out there exist on much more than just these little gestures. It is a tricky concoction that consists of one part boyfriend and two parts best friend and would not work without one part or the other. While having a relationship may not be quite as easy as baking a batch of cookies, it has its own recipe (with a few variations for flavor) to follow for a good match.

Keep Reading... Show less
google images

Fashion just keeps growing and changing and old trends are made new! Now, I'm no beauty guru, just a beauty guru wannabe, but personally I have compiled some stylish wardrobe must haves! These can be cute assets to go back to school or just to catch up on some of the latest trends...

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments